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Confused About Mindfulness? Start Here.

Carley Centen
10 min readAug 21, 2019

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My left foot is asleep. I felt it go dead with a vague numbness punctuated by pricking pain. Not quite the pins and needles of a sleeping limb — that will come when I try to move.

I’ve learned what to expect over the past couple of weeks of 6.30AM meditation classes. For now, I stay as still as I can. I try not to think about it. Naturally, it’s all I can think about.

I don’t always meditate on the beach, but when I do, I get sandy. #picsoritdidnthappen Photo: Carley Centen

I shift an imperceptible amount in my cross-legged position to see if I can release any pressure on my ankle. I realise I am thinking about my foot and try to stop thinking about my foot. A clock ticks faintly. I focus on every ‘thock, thock, thock,’ counting the seconds to a minute. Another minute closer to the full half-hour.

My foot is going to hurt when I can move again. I start to panic in anticipation of the coming discomfort. The longer my foot is asleep, the more it is going to hurt. I focus on the feel of the breeze on my face. I find myself clenching my jaw with every exhale as I breathe through the ache. I try to relax.

The instructor’s voice interrupts my inner battle, calling us back from wherever we’d gone. I’m already here. I don’t think I ever left. I open my eyes, stretch out my legs and wince at the spray of sparks in my foot as my circulation returns to its normal freedom.

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Carley Centen
Carley Centen

Written by Carley Centen

Exploring why we do what we do in love and work for those curious to understand more about themselves, others, and the world. More: http://lnk.bio/aNXQ

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