The Best Way to Fall

“You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree; but baby, the best way to fall, is in love with me.”

Well; would you believe I fell for that?? I was probably the tenth girl he tried that line on, but I suppose it only needs to work once. My friend was the one who told me:

“Remember that line Mike fed you the night you two met? Look. Copied word for word.”

And there it was, all over google.

“You didn’t think he made it up himself, did you? Guys have used that line for years. I mean, it’s probably what he said to bed his ex.”

My blood boiled. I checked his phone the next day while he was in the shower, and sure enough, there were texts to all different girls — using the same line, and others like it he had lifted from the internet:

Baby you must be tired from runnin through my dreams #-)
I wanna rearrange the alphabet n put U and I together ❤
So… did it hurt? When you fell from heaven? xx ;)

Blech. I don’t even mind so much that he’s cheating on me; but that he’s doing the same deals with other girls that he does with me — the same lines, the same words — right down to the emoticons at the end of his texts… I’ll kill him.

“Have you ever told me anything you’ve told someone else?”
 “Like what?”

I couldn’t tell him I went through his phone. I shrugged.

“I don’t know — anything?”
 “Well, I tell my mom I love her. And, honestly, I told my ex I loved her. I mean, how many ways are there to say the same thing?”

The same thing!?? Can you believe this guy? I guess it’s all just the same to him, me and his mom. Me and his ex…

I needed to know. I tracked her down.

“Oh yeah, Mike does the same thing with everyone. Let me take a guess: — he puts your legs up — he goes to the right, pumps a few times, turns you on your stomach…”

My face went pale. I wanted to vomit.

“Yeah, it’s just what he does. Every guy has a method. They watch porno, they imitate it. It’s how they learn.”

Before Mike there was Bobby, and before me, Bobby had another girl. I wondered, if I looked at his internet history back then, just what I would find. People, fucking the same way he fucked me, talking dirty to each other the same way he talked dirty to me. The same lines — the same words. And I remember telling him afterwards that I loved him, same as how I tell Mike. With the same intonation. With the same coy smile.

I drove to Mike’s house and apologized for acting so weird. We watched a movie, and he put his arm around me; just like what happened on my first date in in grade school. We kissed. I popped his dick in my mouth and did this thing with my tongue that always drove Bobby wild. Then I bent over and he fucked me like a pornstar. He asked me if it hurt.

“what?” I asked.
 “Dit it hurt?”
 “when?”
 “when you fell from heaven.”

To be honest, it hurts like hell.