How the box in the garage taught me to pause.

It was almost 100 degrees outside, even hotter in the garage, and I had run out of excuses to avoid the small pile of boxes my parents had held for me over the years.

I figured the boxes would take an hour or so to go through and I’d toss most of the contents; however, one of the boxes grabbed my attention. The box was full of mementos — cards, ticket stubs, photos, and more . As I sifted through the box, each item surfaced a feeling and vivid memory. I became lost in the process, completely forgetting about the sauna I was sitting in.

While digging through the box, I found cards from long time friends, past relationships, and family members. I shook my head and smirked at my grandmother’s homemade card filled with congratulations on my academics and a small acknowledgement of my birthday. I laughed at all of the congratulations from my friends that I could now legally drink. I smiled as I read through cards from past relationships that expressed love, happiness and appreciation.

My eyes welled up as I went through these and I felt immense gratitude for the people who have made me who I am today. I’ve learned that friendships require work, especially when distance comes into play; that love is transformative but not always enough to sustain a relationship; and that family will always have its imperfections but you find a way to love each person anyways.

About 7 months ago, my fiancé proposed and we’ve been on a steady journey of wedding planning. There is a lot to do and a lot of details to get lost in. This wedding season has been filled with anticipation and prepping for what’s to come.

Sitting in the garage and digging into the past was emotional. Instead of thinking about what’s to come, I was able to sit and reflect on everything that had made me who I am today — the friendships, the relationships, the laughter and tears, the late night talks, the trips across the globe, the joy and the hurt. Everything in the box came before I met my fiancé.

As I am consumed in this exciting time, thrilled to be marrying my best friend and looking forward to what’s to come, I hope that every friend and loved one knows the significant impact they have had to make me who I am today. Without each of these experiences and relationships, whether past or present, I wouldn’t be who I am. I wouldn’t be the person that my fiancé fell in love with.

Even though it is months away, the wedding will approach quickly. While I’m so excited for what’s to come, this box is an example of why this journey of engagement needs moments of reflection. Being engaged has been a beautiful journey and I’m in no rush to speed up the ride.