Letter to a fatherless

Dear child

It’s the first time I express my hurt and concern to you regarding the absence of your father. I will never know the pain you are experiencing, but rest assure I understand your sufferance.

Parents are an important figure in the eyes of their children and no matter their sins they will always be their child’s idols. When two people decide to build a family, they agree to share the duty of their child’s up-bringing for the rest of their lives. So there shouldn’t be an instance unless death to justify the absence of each one.

When your father left, you were confused, angry and disappointed. You had to deal with a lot of emotions without even knowing how to properly express them. Growing up without a father, made you grow faster than your age. You couldn’t talk to your mother because you were scared she will be hurt and you had to protect her.

As a young man, you felt the obligation to be the bread winner and the protector of your family. But as a young girl, you had to become a woman and care about your mother’s emotions.

In both cases, you seek to protect without ever knowing what the meaning of protection is and what it feels. Growing up without a father left you half empty. You my boy, will seek the security of the male adult for affirmation, even if it results in illegal activities. Further-more you will chase females to feel the void of love–this lead to promiscuity.

On the other hand, you my girl will seek the attention of men for love, security and protection–because you lack confidence.

Both of you felt judged, but the truth is, you want to fill a gap that has been there for years.

As a father your main roles are: Lead, protect, provide and love. This responsibility isn’t optional–it’s a duty. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be accountable for your actions. Your child is a part of you but your selfish ego took the best. Being a parent is a choice, therefore assume it. Stop blaming everyone, because after all this is your child.

No man can raise your child better. You missed your child’s first day at school, play, defeat and achievements. It doesn’t matter how you grew-up, you can make a difference. In the eyes of your son or daughter, you are the most important human on this planet. But if you choose to leave, you will cause more damage than you wished.

As to you my fatherless child, don’t be sad because life is full of ups and downs. Although I will never feel your emotions, I know you can overcome this anger. Don’t look for remedies to your pain because they are natural to us humans, however seek the word of the Lord.

You will feel you aren’t an expert in prayers–you don’t have to be. Your purpose in this life isn’t through the eyes of your father but through God.

The absence of a father is like a cancer that grows undetected for years. Bitterness is similar to jealousy, if you don’t let it go, it consumes your heart and make you become someone you never wanted to be.

Please forgive your father, we are sinners, don’t judge him either, divine justice–karma, will come. Be an inspiration to others, and thrive to achieve your goals–you aren’t worthless.

As a conclusion, young man be proud of who you are. Retain your dignity and never compromise, build your foundation so tomorrow you will be a father worth of that name. To my young woman, know your worth, your body is your temple where resides your soul. Never let a man divert your path, you are more than just a fatherless girl–you are a woman on a mission.

Faithfully yours

Fatherless child