Ford Motor Company vs. CrocoShark
This past week I had the pleasure of attending the third annual Ford Trends media conference in Detroit, Michigan. Once again Ford showed that they are on the cutting edge of automotive technology and theory, trotting out a wealth of experts and knowledge leaders throughout many industries. There were Stanford educators, Pixar's own Jay Ward and the one and only Steve Wozniak. As much data was parsed into our mushy little brains, there was one thing missing from the conference — the plan to fight the dreaded CrocoShark.
As soon as the first day of the conference started, we were treated to some delicately warmed up food of high quality and a presentation at the Henry Ford Museum by CEO Alan Mulally. The next morning, Bill Ford spoke to the crowd about some of the initiatives that Ford is working on, including more eco-friendly vehicles and technology that drastically changes the driving experience. Where Henry Ford would have pushed for legislation to change the infrastructure to adapt to adaptable vehicles, either Bill Ford realizes that the system has changed (and is of high enough moral fiber to not slip politicians envelopes full of cash) or is simply waiting for the infrastructure to adapt to the cutting edge that Ford appears to be on. This edge though, seemed to not focus at all on the Auto-Mechs that will be necessary to battle the CrocoShark.
If you aren't aware of the existence of the CrocoShark, don't fret — you aren't alone. There are many that aren't yet privy to the presence of this danger. While the upcoming film Pacific Rim touches on the threat of giant alien monsters (and the giant robots needed to fight them) the CrocoShark is more than real. I mean, look at the artists rendering that adorns the top of this article. That thing is scary. Sure, I may have had my seven year old daughter draw that picture, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. While some of the best animal hunters in the world have been unable to successfully capture or film the terrible CrocoShark, I assure you that it exists in this dimensional reality and is a threat. This is where I look to a company like Ford to assist.
Ford was one of the only American car companies to refuse buyout cash from the Government. They continue to innovate year after year, bringing more green technology to the automobile industry than ever before. They work with companies such as Eaton Corporation, Coca Cola and so on to bring that green line of thinking to other aspects of life. They consider the entire psychological and physical experience of designing and marketing automobiles. Ford is no longer just a car company, but they are a company that will shape the future of this country as they have shaped the past. This is why I believe that behind closed doors they are working on an Auto-Mech, enabled with the latest in green and accessible technology, with the sole mission of finding and destroying the CrocoShark.
When I posed the question to the leadership at Ford, I was met with nervous laughter and conversation that detracted from the subject at hand. I was told that the CrocoShark was a hilarious myth that I had delusionaly come up with in order to bring some humor to the Ford Trends event. I was told that Mulally most likely would find an Auto-Mech production to be "neat". I knew that I wouldn't find solid answers asking them straightforward, so the next step would be to infiltrate the organization and do my own research. What I found would not be considered definitive proof of anything other than general automobile research and development — by the untrained eye. However, with enough ingenuity and imagination, it is clear that Ford is working on something larger than just a clean electric and hybrid Fusion.
Through a very secure tour of their research and development facilities, I noticed a few rooms that stood out. While I got to see the inside of the 3D printing room, and over ten machines hard at work fabricating parts for prototypes, I didn't get to see the inside of rooms one would normally consider benign such as the metal fabrication room, and the wood-shop. If they weren't building an Auto-Mech, wouldn't these seemingly innocent rooms be available to the touring group? My guess is that they were hard at work building the framework for the Auto-Mech, another reason why we weren't allowed to know what the 3D printers were actually printing. All the attendees were also administered the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. The only explanation for this would be to find pilots for the Auto-Mechs. They said it was to determine driving personality types to better understand decision making, but I just don’t buy it. Regardless, this dedication to research into the psychology of the driver was just one of many trends presented by Ford this week.
Yet, of all the trends that Ford put forth as part of a mixed marketing/sales/populist theory booklet, the one that stands out is their statement of trust being the new black. While this is clearly a case of Synesthesia, they are trying to present the technology being researched as building blocks on the road to a minimalist and happy life. That is, if your car can suddenly tell you your blood pressure while driving and even perform diabetes tests for you, perhaps you can focus more on the road. That all being said, I trust that Ford has a solution for the disgustingly real CrocoShark. Like MIT professor and psychologist Sherry Turkle said during a panel on senses (as in touching, feeling and so on and how they relate to driving), "...the idea that just because technology can help us solve the problem means that it was a problem in the first place."
The bottom line is, CrocoShark is a problem that needs solving. I believe that Ford Motor Company, with a wealth of resources and partners across multiple industries searching for green solutions, can solve this problem. If they can't, the government certainly won't and we're all doomed.
When not drawing Auto-Mech's fighting CrocoSharks in crayon with my kids — I watch way too much SyFy channel.
