Being a girl definitely blows.

Every other thought — “Omg am I pregnant?” You could literally not even be sexually active and this thought will still pop into your head. It’s completely unfair. You know it’s not possible, but you convince yourself you are. Convince yourself so badly that you end up at an all-night grocery store at 2:30 in the morning to buy a test, then lay awake the rest of the night until your first morning pee to take the damn thing. Trust me, been there too many times to count.

I’ve been pregnant once, and I 100% knew for a fact. I craved an orange one day on my lunch break and was like “Holy shit, I’m definitely pregnant.” So I feel like if I were to ever have another kid, I would just know. But I always manage to freak myself out anyway and the only way to alleviate my brain is to take a test and see the results right in front of me.

Maybe I’m just not accepting the fact that I’ve gained weight since my child and I still have a bit of a belly pouch. I just assume it’s because I’m pregnant that it’s there, instead of refusing to admit that my sedentary lifestyle coupled with my junk food habits could be the true cause.

It’s just really unfair that this is a constant fear for girls. Boys just dip their dick in whatever comes their way without a care in the world. Ok, well, STDs are a care, but whatever. Less of a care than pregnancy I feel like. Although they both can stick around for life. Anyway, off track. Boys have it easy.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking — “Just be safe and you won’t have to have this worry.”

I’m on birth control. I am safe. And I still have pregnancy panics. I think maybe it’s just a natural fear that girls are born with. Maybe not though; not every girl could have this monthly worry. It’s also total bullshit that you could have your Aunt Flo visit and still be pregnant. That’s completely uncalled for!

Ugh, just writing this is stressing me out more. I’ll need to pick up a test on my way home from work. So love being a girl . . .