Spousal support for those with Celiac disease.

I cannot tell you the number of people who do not get support from their spouses when they get diagnosed with celiac disease. It is so sad. Here are some of the complaints I hear women say:

“My husband says I can have a little gluten…it’s no big deal.”

“My husband constantly contaminates my gluten-free butter.”

“My husband says celiac is a media created disease.”

“My husband says I’m having a mid-life crisis.”

“My husband says we can’t go anywhere because you can’t eat anything.”
And the #1 response, “YOUR CRAZY.”

So two questions:
1) Why does it always seem to be the husband who lacks the compassion? Actually, don’t answer that…or if you do, be gentle.
2) What the #$%$%# are these people thinking??

Do the words “in sickness and in health” ring a bell??

When my wife first got the dreaded celiac diagnosis, it is absolutely overwhelming. She felt like her entire life had been overturned. And in a way, it has. She now realizes that nothing will be like it once was. I still remember going grocery shopping with her and she just started crying. Walking up and down the aisles saying “I can’t have that. I can’t have that. I can’t have that. I can’t have that.” Now 1/2 days being cranky and foggy. In the bathroom 1/2 the day and the other 1/2 in bed”

I now realize she needs my support. I cannot even imagine what she goes through. And I must admit its painful for me. So I did what a loving husband should do. I immediately immersed myself in education about the disease. I went out and bought separate utensils and pots and pans. I made part of the kitchen off limits to everyone but me. I labeled all of the drawers, counters, etc. “gluten-free” to remind the kids and our guests. But more than anything else, I just made her feel like she was not in this alone. And because of this, it’s five years later, I’m (somewhat) healthy, I must admit, some of the gluten-free foods are good. Especially the desserts. “WOW!!!!! After reading several articles and cookbooks, I started cooking gluten-free foods. It was rough in the beginning, but now I’m up for the Husband of the Year Award. Speaking with owners of Gluten-Free restaurants and supply companies I found out that most of their spouses have celiac disease that’s why they got into the business. Jules, you are a true blessing.

But this post is not about me. It’s about YOU.

You need this type of support. If your spouse is not behind you 100%, dig deep and figure out why. It is a tough journey having celiac disease and it’s one nobody should go through alone. But to go through it while somebody in your own home is fighting it? Total BS. No, I’m not really advocating leaving your spouse. Suggesting? Maybe. But advocating…no.

But if your spouse is indeed in denial, you need to find another support system. The celiac community is indeed a wonderful group of people. Immerse yourself with them and all of the sudden, you won’t feel so alone.

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