My Dog Taught Me to Break Up with My Phone
We’ve seen the memes, headlines, and for some received an earful from those older than us (cough, cough) baby boomers, that “technology has killed social interaction”. There are stories about people going on dates and being turned off because their date paid more attention to what was in their hand, rather that what was right in front of them. You could be in a room full of people and there’s absolutely no interacting going on because everyone’s glued to their phone. Maybe you’ve even heard your mom say all of your problems exist because “you’re always on that phone.” Or maybe that’s just my mom. Regardless, we can’t ignore the fact that technology — specifically our relationship with our smartphones — has disconnected us physically.
Let me be clear, in no way am I against it. As an introvert there’s nothing more enjoyable than not interacting IRL. No one’s spoken to me all day? Thank God! Cancelled plans? Better than sex. Communicating through texts and apps is my jam.
Yet, as a creative person I’ve also recognized just how detrimental the relationship with my phone has been. Literally my phone is ALWAYS next to me. Each morning after I get over the whole “life is nothing but an energy sucking black hole and I’m going to die alone” thing, my phone is the first thing I reach for. I’ll check for any missed calls, texts, emails, and notifications. Then it’s on to Instagram to watch stories and posts. Next, I spend a very short time on Facebook mainly to wish a high school friend I haven’t spoken to in years, a happy birthday. Then, to Twitter. You’re probably thinking, “all of this each morning?” Yes. Which means I’m procrastinating. Which also means, I’ve spent at least half an hour still in bed and haven’t walked the dog. The latter is what has taught and still teaching me to change make some *Beyonce voice* grown woman changes.
Is there a “horse girl” term for dog owners? “Fur mom” is a little too I Have My Own Discount Code at Pretty Little Thing dot com — just extremely put together. “Dog mom” is probably the most fitting, but still it makes me sound like I’ve really got things figured out. I don’t. As of late, the side-eye I receive from my dog Charlie each morning as I scroll and he awaits his routinely walk, has forced me reevaluate the relationship with just exactly how I’m using my phone.

Dogs are super judgy. No matter how excited they get about anything when you use that high-pitch baby talk, they know. Especially Charlie. I’ll have to admit, being sucked into the digital world like this every morning has made it hard for me to really pay attention to everything else. The time spent scrolling, takes time away from him. Too much time in bed and our walks are cut short. Trust me, I feel terrible about it. These guilt-based feelings have forced me to intentionally make changes. It isn’t a walk in the park.
Several people think the most logical step to staying off your phone is to just take a social media hiatus. Which probably works for some, but I’ve tried that and failed several times. Completely go dark? Leave the internet? Not know what’s going on in my mutuals lives? Unfollow the couple who subtweets their issues rather than address them IRL? Absolutely not. But, spending more time on my phone as opposed to doing the things that need to be done or that I enjoy have made me feel that I’m failing at life.
As an overachiever, there’s nothing more satisfying than being in constant competition with myself. Pushing my own limits. Thinking of new ways and challenges to put forth the best version of myself. Expanding my creativity. Also, being a great dog mom. Having a phone addiction, hasn’t made it painless to do any of these things. There are several unfinished things on my list that are really my own fault. Several I just put down because I picked up my phone. When that happens it’s hard to go back to them because I’ve been taken out of the moment. Just mindlessly scrolling as keeps your mind a minimal level of attention. It detaches you from the physical and stunts creativity. And as a creative, I need my phone. So I’ve created ways to at least keep my phone out of my hand. Mainly for my own sanity, and for Charlie.
First, a sense of routine. As a go-with-the-flow type of person, I haven’t been going with any sort of flow. It’s more-so been a lazy river of molasses and my inner-tubes deflated. Through my attempts of gaining control over phone addiction, I’ve had to formulate a routine. Not sure if this will continue to work forever or for everyone but it’s greatly helped me.
Delete Apps From Your Phone: When there’s nothing to scroll through on your phone, you’re less likely to use it. I know you’re thinking, “what’s the point of having a phone then?,” but bear with me. At least this gets the phone out of your hands. Your thumbs will thank you. For me, it also meant that I’d only really be able to look at social media at work. Considering how ~reckless~ my mutuals can be and working in an open floor office, scrolling through Twitter and Facebook is very risqué.
We’re friends at this point right? TBH, I haven’t deleted ALL of the social media apps on my phone. But, I did turn off the notifications for Snapchat, Tumblr (yes I still use it), and Facebook. Out of sight, out of mind.
Post Intentionally: As a creative, social media is one of the main avenues to get your work out to the world. It’s how you gain exposure. It’s better to re-frame the way you USE your social media outlets. If one of your main goals is to get your work or name out there, but you’re scrolling through Instagram at 3am, that’s most likely not benefiting your work. After learning the demographics for my podcast, I only post content for it when I know my audience is online. As for my personal social media, I try to keep most thoughts to myself or at least in my drafts. But sometimes you just gotta #LivetweetYourPeriod.
Practice Mindfulness: This has greatly helped me make progress in my creative life. There’s several definitions for mindfulness, but for simplicity it’s “energized engagement with the activity at hand, with all of one’s mind and attention”. For those like me with anxiety, you’re already hyper-aware of whats going on around you. So practicing mindfulness can seem daunting. Mindfulness doesn’t mean intentionally paying attention to every single thing. Don’t expect some sort of magical outcome. It’s weird and little tough at first, but slowly adding it into your daily routine helps.
I started small. When I walk Charlie, I try to focus on nature. It probably sounds corny, but I pick at least one tree and take it all in: the colors, movement, taking a few deep breaths, overall just being where I am at that specific time and moment. My dog gets longer walks and I don’t feel as socially isolated even though I’m not socializing. There’s still a connection. It’s almost spiritual. Win-win. You can do it with anything. Cooking, getting dressed, driving (be careful with this one), even working. Just one simple moment of being present.
Through these short moments of mindfulness, there’s a reset that happens. It gives way to focus on priorities. Whether it be finishing that book you put down 2 months ago, beginning the short story you have yet to put from mind to paper, or even something as simple as playing with your pet.
