ALTERNATE SIDE PARKING. CAN WE MAKE IT STOP?

The alternate side parking rule is the biggest hoax NYC has ever pulled and they’re getting away with it. Do we really need 4 days of “street cleaning” in Brooklyn or are we getting royally screwed by the NYC Department of Transportation?

Moving my car from one side of the street to the other so that an oversized street sweeping truck can sprinkle a bit of water and brush some dirt off the street on to the sidewalk is the single most annoying thing about living in New York City.

These are the rules according to the NYC DOT website: Many streets in New York have alternate side regulations, which allow for street cleaning. Most alternate side parking signs are clearly marked with signs featuring a “P” crossed by a broom. Some areas have three-hour restrictions (e.g. 8 am to 11 am) but times vary considerably. The law is intended to promote efficient flow of traffic (that’s bullshit), as well as to allow street sweepers and snowplows (Snowplows? Really?) to reach the curb without parked cars impeding their progress.

Yes, living in NYC and owning a car is not as unusual as non-New Yorkers might think. In fact, as of 2015, there are 498,282 legally registered vehicles in Kings county alone. There are about 2.5 million Brooklyn residents. If my math is correct and it probably isn’t, about 20% of the Brooklyn population own a vehicle. The percentage is likely higher if you take all the 16 and under non-licensed teens out of the equation.

That’s a lot of cars and not enough parking spaces on the streets. Especially in Brooklyn where most family homes and apartment buildings do not have driveways or parking lots. So basically you can own a $2.5 million home in Brooklyn and not be able to park your fancy car in your own driveway. Which makes it worse for renters like me who have to drive around for 20 minutes only to find parking two blocks away from my apartment.

Where are all the spaces? Well for starters, it’s illegal to park in front or anywhere near a church entrance. There are a lot of churches around here, A LOT! Why can’t I park in front of a church on a Tuesday at Noon? The Priest is not preaching, the choir is not singing and the church goers are all at work presumably.

It’s also illegal to park on the same street side of a school. According to the Public and Private School Review website, there are 578 public schools and 403 private schools in Brooklyn. This may not sound like a lot but take a 2-minute drive around any Brooklyn neighborhood and you’re guaranteed to drive by at least 5 schools. I get it, teachers need to drive to work and park their cars too. But shouldn’t schools provide parking for their teachers?

Throw in fire hydrants (at least two of them on every block), government buildings, No Standing signs, bus stops, parking meters, etc. and we’re left with a mad scramble to find a parking spot that’s fit for the next day’s regulation. Meaning, you’re screwed if you get home from work post 6 p.m. and your car is parked on the wrong side of the street.

Therein lies the problem, the lack of flexibility in the rules enables the city to exploit us all. i.e. read this story here and come back to me.

A smooth $565 million in parking ticket revenue in the last fiscal year. Insane, yes. Now I’m not sure what percentage of that half a billion came from the alternate side parking rule specifically but I and many of you have certainly contributed to that fund in one way or another.

How to fix it?

Alternate side parking fines is big business for the city so removing the street cleaning program entirely will never happen. So let’s compromise.

Reduce the days of street cleaning down to two days a week.

Move the street cleaning days to the weekend when folks are already out and about, when most streets are already clear and when people are home to actually move their vehicles from one side of the street to the other. It’s really that simple. Strangely enough, in most parts of Queens street cleaning only takes place once a week and in some areas alternate side parking regulations don’t exist at all.

Asking residents to oblige to a law that is setup to exploit them is frustrating in and of itself. The spin on the purpose of this law is even more frustrating and insulting for that matter. Not only is the city pretending to clean our streets, it’s all being indirectly financed by anyone who has ever paid a parking fine and by “anyone” I mean all of us.

So I encourage everyone to visit the NYC Alt Side Parking Twitter page @NYCASP and tweet #makealtsideparkingstop or share this piece on the DOT Facebook page here.