Down the Gillette Rabbit Hole

Chris Lahiri
Aug 3 · 3 min read

#wokesploitation. It’s a thing.

If enough articles haven’t been written about this, here’s another one. The rabbit hole actually goes much deeper. Gillette was dying on the vine ever since the advent of Dollar Shave Club and several of these other competitors who were going for a more simple subscription approach. They didn’t just out of the blue decide to “get woke” out of moral conviction. They were disrupted, and as is typical of the incumbent in disrupted industries, they doubled down on existing precepts thinking they’d brute force their way out of a David and Goliath battle.

We’ve changed. No really, we have. (Photo credit: Shad Olson Show)

Gillette’s predatory instincts kicked into overdrive when three, then four, then five plus razors blades on a plastic stick became so transparently exploitive that even the thickest consumer opted for practicality and cost savings. Humans like simple. Especially men. Our lives are complicate enough with every spineless, predatory element in the universe seeking an easy target and a fall guy. Dollar shave club got it right. Their product got it right. Their marketing got it right. So Gillette chose to double down and prey on another group before giving up and facing the music.

In the vein of a traditionally sexist and condescending approach to humanity in general, first stereotyping men as mythically ignorant brutes, then childifying them with lessons in a half-hearted moral stance, the opportunistic marketers at Gillette donned their purple wigs and rainbow flags, grew out their arm pit hair and pretended to take the moral high road. All the while setting their fangs into a new target whom they thought were an equally thick, emotionally driven, and naive consumer audience: SJWs, LGBTQ and women. $8B In losses later, the smart money said otherwise.

Why? Marketing exploits. The marketer’s moral gesturing is embedded in an ulterior motive; namely, to sell material goods and services. Hence any moral cues offered by an entity trying to sell shoes, shaving utensils, or board games will be distracted and shallow, and at worse extremely harmful to our culture as a whole.

The values of the product marketer exist in the obfuscating shadow of near-term profit as opposed to long-term cultural sustainability.

There are no moral philosophers at Gillette. But there are surface-oriented marketers, quick to latch onto pop psychological concepts like “toxic masculinity” that have no foundation in the official lexicon of psychological research. This term was in fact invented not by psychologists, but in the tiny, self-referential world of the product marketer. And it became popular through the extensive reach of the product marketer and their equally broken media counterparts.

So product marketers are told to double down for Gillette. “The shaving razor has plateaued, our male audience has already abandoned us. Find a way to sell off the rest of this environmentally destructive plastic and steel monstrosity our creatively bankrupt “R&D” department has shat out.” And where do franchises and products go to die? In a large abattoir our culture has dedicated to the appeasement of insatiable and vocal SJW fashionistas.

The ensuing fiasco needs no further explanation. Let it be said that Gillette and P&G will never admit to their stupidity, and attempt to justify their alienation of half the human race with empty fallbacks to a far left, but very vocal minority instead. And surprise, surprise, it’s a political ideology that appeals to the tunnel vision of product marketers and their degenerate lifestyles, so now it must be the way for the rest of the world. Idiots.

Are you woke enough to spend $200 on a heated razor? We’ve got money to burrrrrnnnn.

If you’re as old as I am, you’ll remember 20 some years ago the word “def” was hilariously put to rest. It’s time for “toxic” to get the same treatment. Let it be relegated to the realm of industrial waste from which sleazy product marketers seeking shock value lifted it from in the first place.

Chris Lahiri

Written by

I’m a dad and father’s rights activist. I’m also a Nielsen Norman Group certified UX designer, and a six-time Addy award winning interactive media designer.

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