Life Is What You Make It

Or What Losing Your Job Can Teach You

In mid-2008, as the third decade of my life was about to begin, my boss decided to fire me.

No reason was given. I was just no longer needed.

I remember three things about the event: The smirk on that woman’s face; her tone of voice when she asked me to give back my keys; and the way she threw me out of the building and locked the door right after.

And then, there was the drive home. My brain had switched to automatic pilot; I really don’t know how I got home without having an accident…

Within the next couple of hours, I emailed my students — I was a French Instructor for a language school—to warn them that I would no longer be there. The outpour of support was amazing! I will never forget what some of them did for me.

The initial shock gave way to the realization that I no longer had a job and that there was no real opening in my field. It was going to be a long and challenging ride.

This Is What Happened

Before thinking of looking for a job, I had to try and get some closure. The traumatic firing was just the logical conclusion of months of bullying by my ex-boss and constant attempts at intimidation by a male co-worker.

My boss had taken over from our former executive director in September 2007. At the time, the group of teachers was highly skilled and experienced. We loved staying after class to chat. We laughed a lot.

And then, within a couple of weeks, things changed. My boss would not say “hi” to me in the mornings — only when people were around. She would throw my stuff on the floor or demand that I clean my mess in front of staff and customers without giving me time to finish what I was doing. Or she would change her decisions without warning me and then lecture me for “not listening”.

She was also very fond of singing loudly. Her favorite place? Upstairs, where the classrooms were—and when I was the only one teaching.

And there were also a few events worth mentioning:

• the last-minute visit in my class to ‘assess my skills’
• the disparaging comments made to female staff during meetings
• the morning the aforementioned teacher cornered me in my room and tried to intimidate me
• the witness who said that I had asked for it

and

• the weekly demeaning (and very public) comments from the same teacher

I remember crying every day before going to work. There were also my two nervous breakdowns; they happened a week apart.

What I Promised Myself

Remembering those painful events allowed me to understand that my calling was elsewhere. So, I promised myself to not let what had happened define the rest of my career.

At the time, I also worked as a translator. The things I really enjoyed were the ability to set my own hours, work at my own pace, and be my own boss.

Then, a few weeks later, my aunt died of breast cancer. I flew to Toulouse to support my grandmother, who now had no children and husband left. A break from my other ‘job’ was needed!

The Next Steps

Shortly after returning to Winnipeg, I found myself experiencing a strong bout of depression. I could not stand living in the city anymore. I had to leave for a while.

I decided to go back to France for a few months. My grandmother needed knee surgery, so it was the perfect opportunity for me.

The five months I spent there were pivotal. I read a lot, played the guitar, discovered my passion for social media, and met tons of great people via Twitter and Facebook.

And there was also Syria, the most beautiful country I have ever visited. I fell in love with the desert and its invisible, yet teeming life. There was something for everyone there, including transformative experiences.

Mine came during the third or fourth day. I had had traveler’s tummy since my arrival and had not really been able to eat properly.

After a short walk, the stomach cramps started becoming unbearable—and there was no washroom around. So, I decided to take my time. I would walk a few steps, stop, start again, and stop again. The group knew I was sick, so they would eventually have to wait for me.

At some point though, the pain was so strong that my legs could not support me anymore. So, I sat down.

Here I was, outside Old Palmyra, one of the most beautiful places I had ever beheld in my entire life, and I could not even enjoy the view! I felt alone and abandoned by the group.

And then, something magical happened:

I thought I heard a gentle voice, but there was no one. And before you know it, my cramps were gone. I stood up, started walking again and took pictures of the landscape. I met the group ten minutes later. Everyone was sitting around, waiting for me, and clapped as I sat.

The cramps may have come back shortly after, the pain quickly subsided. And the sickness was gone the next day.

It was a life-altering moment that I will never forget. I realized that my being jobless was not the end of the world, that there was something better waiting for me. I felt totally aware of who I was and of my purpose.

(More pictures of Syria below…)

When I returned from Syria, my mind felt lighter than it had felt in years. I was ready to go back to Winnipeg. I knew what I wanted to do.

My Meeting with Paper.li

The next two years were a blur. I worked hard, attended a lot of social media webinars, continued reading, launched my first successful blog, and started writing for Examiner.com. Most importantly, though, I felt able to take on any challenge that came my way.

That is when social media became a prominent part of my life.

In 2011, I was a budding content curator in search of innovative tools to make my life easier. Paper.li met that need.

Initially, my relationship with the company was limited to the occasional “hi”. Then, I wrote a couple of articles to introduce it to my blog readers and Paper.li noticed. Interactions started.

A few months into 2012, after the release of my first social media ebook, I was approached by Liz Wilson, the then Community Editor and a wonderful person altogether. She offered to interview me and let me guest post for the Community Blog. That was one of my first big features as a social media professional and blogger, so I did not take the opportunity lightly.

A few weeks later, I found myself having to deal with an aggressive Twitter user who did not understand how mentions worked on Paper.li. After several attempts at explaining things and the guy demanding that I change the system, I redirected him to the Paper.li team.

That is when I “met” Community Manager Kelly Hungerford, who was very responsive. The way she handled the situation was exceptional—and my love for Paper.li increased tenfold in the process.

Getting to Know Paper.li from the Inside

As the Canada Social Media Examiner for Examiner.com until last year, I covered social media news and trends. So, whenever Paper.li had news, I always tried to cover it to give them more exposure.

It is something that Kelly has never forgotten. The way she has supported me in return is something that cannot be described with words.

What is even more amazing, though, is the fact that she does it with many people. She believes that a brand is nothing without its community of advocates and customers. You have to walk the talk if you want others to trust and recommend you.

Kelly’s philosophy has helped Paper.li become known as one of the most community-centric platforms in its field. If you want an example of how she has done it, check out #BizHeroes, a weekly Twitter chat that features Paper.li publishers.

My Second Promise to Myself

Those who know me are aware that I am stickler for detail and a perfectionist. Every one of my articles has taken me at least six hours to craft.

It has nothing to do with the fact that English is not my mother tongue. It is just my way of working. Quality has always been more important to me than anything else.

That is one thing I realized when I came back from Syria. My ex-boss did not care about how good I was. Her only desire was to see me and others obey her orders blindly. Many of the decisions that she wanted to implement were good but did not take into consideration customers and their learning habits.

There was no room for ideas and suggestions. She was the boss and knew everything—even though she had only been in Canada for a few months, and was completely clueless about how Winnipeggers lived. In a nutshell, she was like a lot of French people raised into believing that the French way is the only way.

As a result, the quality of my teaching decreased. And my students, who were all adults, noticed.

So, after Syria, I also promised myself to never again compromise my values and ethics, especially if my gut feeling told me that I would do customers a disservice.

I have never regretted this decision.

Working for Paper.li

Being bullied in the workplace and consequently fired are not things I would wish for anyone. They are humiliating and dehumanizing experiences.

However, they have showed me what NOT to be as a professional. They have also taught me to value people, relationships, and teamwork.

This is something that I have always appreciated about Paper.li. The company and I share the same ideal: “Social Media from a Human Perspective” (my personal slogan)

So, earlier this year, when Kelly asked me to join Paper.li as a Blog Staff Writer, I was more than elated. I knew that my skills and business ethics had been noticed.

And honestly, working with a community manager of Kelly’s calibre is a dream come true.

Now, a couple of months later, all I can say is that it does not feel like work at all.