How a girl with a broken heart received the greatest gift of all
“I’ll never be heartbroken because my heart isn’t breakable. I love myself, I love life and I bounce back very quickly” was once bragging a girl.
She liked to joke with her boyfriend about the fact that they were both heartbreakers. She didn’t really mean that she was a heartbreaker herself. She was expressing that she always felt in control and knew herself well. If a relationship was coming to an end, she was fine with it. She would bounce back quickly and keep her heart full of love and joy.
She had always been deeply spiritual. From a young age, she would perceive things that others wouldn’t. She could see colors around people, spirits, and past-lives. She could travel through time and space and yet feel very anchored to the earth.
She heard spirits talk to her and was now using those gifts to work with others.
Even though the girl was spiritually awake, strong, healthy and loving, she knew that many wounds were still buried deep within herself.
She had always been cynic about love. “Soulmates and fairy tales don’t exist. Love between humans is always tinted with negativity, possession, and control. Even love received from our parents isn’t unconditional”.
The girl chose to wear a persona of an independent seductive woman who can get men easily and replace them equally easily. Because you know, her heart was unbreakable anyway.
She had a little voice telling her more and more that she would have to dig deep and shift those beliefs and patterns. She lacked vulnerability and humility. She was playing though, but cracks were present. Her sense of fragility kept on growing.
The way she was dealing with her own heart was no longer serving her.
She would have to heal the raw wounds created by an absent father. She was raised by a mother who never had romantic love in her life and disliked men.
That girl knew that she would have to break free from the family chains.
She had done a lot of work on herself already, peeling the layers off one at a time.
She was on a path to get to her chore, so she could rise and be happy. She wanted to bring out the best of her, for her own daughters, so they could be free.
What she didn’t know then was that she was terrified to be vulnerable.
She might have felt love and give love easily, but it was never true love. Affection, manipulation, possession, and games were always part of the picture. She always did what she had to stay in control and not feel broken.
So, when her relationship with her boyfriend exploded out of nowhere, she was taken aback. She hadn’t seen it coming. She had started feeling some loving feelings towards her man but had felt his own resistance.
They had never communicated on a deep level. They lived on different planets. So, a part of her knew that something was off from the beginning. But she had stayed because they were having fun together and it’s all she thought she needed. Fun, cuddles, good parties.
She was fooling herself, half-believing that this relationship was based on mutual love. Her affection wasn’t reciprocated. But she needed bandages for her own wounds so badly that she’d rather take the little bits that were scarcely given to her than being by herself.
The breakup in itself came as a shock but she didn’t feel heartbroken — yet. It weighed heavily on her mind. She hadn’t been in control. She was starting to see clearly the extent of her own wounds.
She felt rejected, abandoned and stupid.
What actually made her heart break down into little pieces, was the conjunctures of events that happened at the same time.
Her mother, her person in life, had to undergo an emergency operation to remove a massive brain tumor. Her mum went under for months. The girl couldn’t be by her side for they lived on opposite parts of the globe.
She had lost her closest person, her confidant, the one who believed in her more than anyone else. Her mother was alive but wasn’t there any longer.
The girl couldn’t think about her, lying in her hospital bed, so far away from her. She felt the pain and the fears of her own mother deep within her heart.
It became unbearable.
When her boyfriend started saying that he didn’t feel like committing to her any longer, she was shocked and sad. She pushed the pain away and pretended it didn’t affect her.
She buried the wound in her heart.
When her mother’s health deteriorated so tragically, she was far away and couldn’t bear to think about her.
She would pray for her mother but tried to hide the pain away. She buried it deep within her heart.
At the same time, the girl was losing a friend. That created another empty space in her life. More questions, more pain, more wounds were being triggered. Again, she pushed it away, hiding the pain in her overflowing heart.
But now, the girl couldn’t stop crying.
She had tried to hide her pain for too long. It was too intense. Her heart just couldn’t take it.
She realized that all of those years, she had always needed a man to be there to comfort her, make her feel good, in control, and wanted.
The light bulbs that kept on coming were even more knives piercing her own heart for she could see how little she had actually loved herself.
Her need for constant outward gratification was the very sign that she didn’t believe in her power. She couldn’t trust being by herself in the big wild world.
She was scared. She was alone. She constantly needed reassurance and some sort of love, even though so shallow.
The realization that she had let herself down continuously by giving her power away to men, to friends, to her parents, made her cry tears that she had never cried before.
They were tears of guilt, of shame, of anger, of deep sadness.
She had let herself down, identifying so strongly with her persona of being a girl on top of her game, that she had ignored all the cues that something was off.
She had thought herself as being strong when in reality she had pushed aside the need for her heart to be listened to.
Now, the universe was giving her what she needed to remove the veils of her own illusions.
The pain that her heart was experiencing was so intense that it could no longer be ignored.
As she tried to connect to her heart to recharge it by receiving the healing light of God Source, she could feel nothing. As she prayed for help, as she tried to feel love for others and herself, nothing came.
She had to cry many tears before her prayers were heard.
Her faith saved her.
She had faith in God Source. He was guiding her, protecting her constantly. He was a beacon of light, keeping her hopes intact.
Her faith in herself, in the power of her soul to rise above and shine brighter than ever, made her keep her focus on courage and resilience.
The storm always passes, the Phoenix that she is always rises from her own ashes.
She knew deep down that this was a gift. Life was just challenging her to this level because she had refused to open the door to her own heart before.
She thought she had done it. But that girl hadn’t, no.
The one who was behind the control was a created persona, an actress that was getting tired of her play.
In a way, amongst her pain, she felt joy and excitement for she knew that the deeper the cracks open, the more comes out. The more comes out, the more she can heal. The more she can heal, the more she can rise from her own ashes.
Life was just taking its time to deliver the lesson, so she could understand and break free from her old unwanted persona.
In one of her meditation, she focused on her heart. What she saw taught her humility: it was broken in thousands of pieces. It was grey and wasn’t beating.
The girl wondered how she could work on receiving love and send love to others when her heart was so broken…
She did the only thing that she knew would help.
“Please God, take my heart into your hands for I do no longer know what I can do to heal it.
Thank you for sending me those challenges so I can learn humility. Thank you for shaking me so I can see clearly all that I need to work on becoming a better person.
Please God, help me now for I am lost.
Help me become the faucet of your water.
Help me heal my heart so it can shine brighter than ever, in truth and authenticity.
Heal it, so it can radiate your unconditional love within me and all around me.
Hold me in your arms so I can be there for myself and for others, so I can give them love and help them on their path if so be it.”
Then, the miracle happened.
She received her gift, the one that would change everything.
As she was lost in her prayers, her face covered in tears, she felt a wave of love coming upon her. She felt the warm presence of divinity within her and all around her.
She saw one of her angels coming towards her with a magnificent gift.
Her dear friend in spirit was holding a gigantic cosmic heart.
It was vibrating with a myriad of colors, sending rays all around it. It was pulsating and sparkly. Just looking at it, the girl felt joy and gratefulness.
“Is this more me?” she said.
“It is my friend. Take it, place it within you and learn to connect to it. Keep on sending love to yourself and all around you.
Love more fiercely than ever before. Do it by being your true authentic self.
Stop hiding and pretending, for you are a soul, a spark of the divine, and your duty is to radiate truth and love.
Don’t be afraid, ever, for you are a spiritual warrior and nothing can break your soul.
You will teach others how they can receive their cosmic heart and use it. Be wise and courageous, always. Never hide again for there is nothing to be afraid of.”
The girl was now crying tears of joy.
She placed the cosmic heart within her chest and felt her whole being vibrating and pulsating. The heart was being connected to her energy field and physical body.
As the heart started pulsating, she placed her broken little human heart next to it. This way, it would receive unconditional love and support.
From this day on, she would be there for herself without judgments, guilt or shame. She would not bury her pain any longer.
She would care for her heart. She would be courageous and break free from her past patterns.
From the day she received her cosmic heart, the girl has been tested already, many times.
She has experienced new levels of intensity when her relationship with her father broken down, opening even more wounds than before.
She was missing her man more than ever, the comfort of his arms, the fun he always brought to distract her and make her happy.
Her mind kept on saying that she needed a man in her life now, to comfort her, to make her feel safe and happy.
But the girl wasn’t going to bow in front of her fears and her wounds.
She had received her cosmic heart. Her prayers had been answered. God Source was watching over her. Her friends in spirit and many humans were watching her rising above her negative patterns.
She would not let herself down again. Not this time or ever.
She would learn to love herself deeply.
By doing so, the girl started walking on her path to freedom and happiness with courage and vulnerability, for she knew now, that indeed, she could never be broken but by her own self.
The acts she was playing with her old persona is over. That chapter is closed.
As she experiences new levels of wholeness, she is starting to open her brand-new wings. She takes off and starts flying higher than ever, wearing her heart on her sleeve.