Understanding Conflict: The Five Stages and How People Respond

Cesar España
3 min readMar 3, 2023

Conflict is a natural part of human interactions, and it can arise in any situation where there are differences or disagreements between people. When conflict arises, people respond in different ways, and conflicts can progress through various stages as they intensify and become more complex.

One way to understand the progression of conflict is to consider the following five stages:

  1. Latent stage: There may be underlying tensions or potential sources of conflict, but the conflict has not yet become visible or apparent.
  2. Perceived stage: One or both parties begin perceiving a conflict and may start feeling frustrated or dissatisfied.
  3. Felt stage: Emotions become more intense, and the conflict becomes more personal, with parties feeling anger, fear, or hurt.
  4. Manifest stage: The conflict becomes visible and tangible, and parties may start to take action to defend their positions or interests or to try to resolve the conflict.
  5. Aftermath stage: After the conflict has been resolved, parties may experience a range of emotions, including relief, sadness, or regret.

How people respond to conflict is another essential aspect to consider. According to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), people generally have five options for responding to conflict:

  1. Competing: This involves asserting one’s needs, goals, or opinions and pursuing them at the expense of others. It can be helpful when quick, decisive action is necessary, or one’s position is strong.
  2. Collaborating involves working with others to find a mutually beneficial solution that satisfies everyone’s needs and interests. It can be helpful in situations with complex problems or where long-term relationships are essential.
  3. Compromising involves finding a middle ground that partially satisfies everyone’s needs and interests. It can be helpful when time is limited or maintaining relationships is essential.
  4. Avoiding: This involves avoiding or withdrawing from the conflict altogether. It can be helpful in situations where the issue is minor, where emotions are high, or where the costs of addressing the conflict are too high.
  5. Accommodating: This involves prioritizing the needs and interests of others over one’s own. It can be helpful in situations where the issue is minor or where maintaining relationships is more important than achieving one’s goals.

People can respond to conflict in any of the five stages of conflict. In the latent stage, people may respond to potential sources of conflict by taking steps to prevent or avoid a conflict from arising. For example, they may try to communicate more clearly, establish boundaries, or address issues before they escalate.

In the perceived stage, people may respond to conflict by expressing their concerns or frustrations to the other party. This may involve trying to clarify misunderstandings, negotiate solutions, or seek mediation or other forms of assistance.

In the felt stage, people may respond to conflict by becoming more emotionally invested in the conflict and expressing their feelings more openly. This may involve becoming angry, defensive, or hurt and may lead to more intense conflict.

In the manifest stage, people may respond to conflict by acting to defend their positions or interests or try to resolve the conflict. This may involve negotiating, compromising, collaborating, or competing to achieve their goals.

Finally, in the aftermath stage, people may respond to conflict by reflecting on the outcome of the conflict and their behavior. They may consider how they could have handled the conflict differently or how they can prevent similar conflicts from arising in the future.

It’s worth noting that how people respond to conflict can depend on various factors, including their personality, values, past experiences, specific circumstances, and other parties involved. Effective conflict resolution often consists of recognizing the different stages of conflict and responding appropriately in each stage to reach a positive outcome.

In conclusion, conflict is a natural part of human interactions. How people respond to conflict depends on various factors, including the stage of the conflict, the parties involved, and their styles of conflict resolution. By understanding the different stages of conflict and conflict-handling modes, individuals and groups can learn to respond to conflicts more constructively and effectively, leading to positive outcomes and healthier relationships.

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