Crank Macaroni Salad Stonewall
Crank in Macaroni Salad and Dealing With Silent Treatment
My sister and brother in law host a party on their boat at Newport Dunes on the 4th of July. It’s fun. There’s live music, pot luck American foods and if you dare — run the gauntlet on a paddle board around the drunken boaters.
“Bring your blueberry cobbler and macaroni salad. I swear that salad has crack in it.” Sister says day before 4th of July.
“Planning on it.”
“Drugs, crank.” She says, “You bringing a date?”
“No, getting the silent treatment.”
“Time to move on…”
I don’t answer. She tells a story about my nephew.
“Perhaps you can give him advice. He invited new girlfriend to the party, but last minute found out he was scheduled to work. She complained. He’s stonewalling.”
She describes that nephew’s girlfriend asked him to trade the hours, but he receives double time on holidays. He needs money to save for college in the fall. Girlfriend works summers as a volunteer. Their financial situations don’t balance. She pushes harder. He shuts down. Rather than talk it out, he avoids, he leaves his phone home. She’s burns up his cell with texts.
Here’s my advice:
Stonewalling is a male thing. Experience of silent treatment is painful for me. I feel unwanted. My boyfriend (whatever) avoids answering my request to share holidays. To explain the effects of silent treatment on women, I liken it to how a man experiences humiliation. I tell my nephew: girls feel a sting that he felt when the Volleyball Coach failed to pick him for the team and told him in front of friends that he’s too dam short. Isolation of cold shoulder is experienced by girls with that sting. She tries to break the glass stone wall.
He is NOT mean. It’s defensive.
My daughter used this avoidance of problems tool. She works on breaking the habit. It’s easy in the short term to walk from conflict. But not discussing it makes blow ups later. He nods. Nephew says nothing.
It’s easy to observe human relationships from outside but hard to be in it. Advice is milky bath water with flowery words. Hopefully my talk has some cherry tomatoes (an easy crop to nurture)that he can use. Relationships, friendships, and even family are complex dynamics. We must desire change. Want improvement. Want happiness. Relationships in balance take work. We’re on a board together with a random center pivot. One side of the teeter todder dominates.
This that / ci-ça, as the French call it is- see saw where there’s a pivot that controls the balance. One partner is up and the other is down.
I also recommend girlfriend ties to understand where he is coming from. Is there a secret to get him to open up? No. Is there a special mayonnaise in my macaroni salad that keeps everyone coming back for a third servicing? No really.
My no longer secret recipe for additive Macaroni Salad instead of the solution to love and happiness. Maybe this brings you both.
Place in bowl and whip with hand beater 30 seconds:
- 1 large egg yolk* fresh from my ranch free range chickens still warm (whistle if you need these)
- 1 1/2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
- 1 teaspoon white cheapo vinegar
- 1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
- 1/2 teaspoon sea salt plus more to taste
Slowly dribble in the olive oil as you continue whipping by hand for about nine minutes. Making this salad isn’t fast. The ingredients are inexpensive but like most worthwhile treats, it takes work by hand.
- 3/4 cup virgin olive oil
- Garnish the top with:
- Cracked pepper fresh
- Refrigerate immediately
Boil 4 cups of macaroni in about 8 cups of water with a teaspoon of salt, sprinkle of pepper and dash of cayenne until tender about 8–9 minutes. Pasta should be soft enough for a fork to cut but not mush.
While that cooks:
FINELY chop 2 sticks celery, a small red onion, half of a yellow or orange bell pepper and place in large bowl.
Rinse macaroni in cool water — make sure it drains off — — allow to sit and dry…
After it cools to almost room temperature add to vegetable bowl, combine mayonnaise and toss.
Put in refrigerator well covered for 2 hours minimum.
Now — -
Take out and taste- This is the magic of yummy joy. Get the salt, sweet, sour, hot, creamy, bitter and umami in check.
Add a sprinkle of salt or pepper or dash of vinegar or teaspoon of sugar to get the balance to work. Sometimes the peppers are sweet and no sugar needed, sometimes the celery is bitter and you need more salt, sometimes the air is dry and the vinegar loosens up the salad. You are looking for balance here. You may need a splash of soy sauce (about ½ teaspoon)
The colors are linen whites, lime green, and a bit of sunshine yellow. Now add a whole can of sliced black olives (well drained) and check the flavors again. Maybe it needs another pinch of sugar?
Really there are no drugs in this salad. Be careful to refrigerate. Old people or small children are susceptible to raw eggs. Since my egg yolk is less than an hour after laid and I control the chickens health and cleanliness, I’m okay with raw eggs.
All relationships have challenges. I wish you happiness.