Acceptance, not ambition

I used to be ambitious. I used to strive for things and set goals and try to hit those goals within a certain time frame. I was prideful in hitting each of the goals I set. I never wrote them down, they just remained a small vision in the back of my head.

I grew up and as life would have it, life happened. It took me from a bold world of traveling and seeing the sights and making love to beautiful women all over the world, to a place of solace and quiet. The life I once knew has drastically changed, as have I.

I used to be ambitious, but now I am accepting. Life is what it is, and I don’t care to be ambitious anymore. I will live out my days, grateful for what little I have and stop being a greedy fucking consumerist. I don’t know where I thought I would ever fit into a relationship with someone I truly love without being able to offer anything to anyone. I am sure I will get a rash of shit that “love is all you need” Stick that in your pipe hole and smoke it.

Life and love will make you crazy, and that is a fact. How you deal is the true measure of your character. Will you snap and kill everyone around you, or kill yourself, or will you shrug off the dirt on your shoulders and be grateful for what you have in this moment. Realizing that everything Hollywood sold you from friends, careers, and love, is all bullshit. Dont watch tv and avoid hollywood. Get up and keep moving forward. Learn to accept where you are and that this may be as good as it gets. This is not advice so please don’t take it as such, it is a letter to me.

I used to help lots of folks, or so I thought. Truth is we can only share a story, we can NEVER help anyone. The idea of a life coach cracks me the fuck up. How is a life coach going to help YOU life YOUR life? You may be able to relate, but you will never REPLICATE their life. This is a great snippet from Mark Manson’s website and it is so true:

Today I received approximately the 11,504th email this year from a person telling me that they don’t know what to do with their life. And like all of the others, this person asked me if I had any ideas of what they could do, where they could start, where to “find their passion.”
And of course, I didn’t respond. Why? Because I have no fucking clue. If you don’t have any idea what to do with yourself, what makes you think some jackass with a website would? I’m a writer, not a fortune teller.
But more importantly, what I want to say to these people is this: that’s the whole point — “not knowing” is the whole fucking point. Life is all about not knowing, and then doing something anyway. All of life is like this. All of it. And it’s not going to get any easier just because you found out you love your job cleaning septic tanks or you scored a dream gig writing indie movies.

Not knowing is life. No one knows if you will finish high school, If you will find someone to love and maybe have kids, what job you will land, if you will be successful. Truth is, we don’t know shit. We regurgitate what the next guy said cause it resonates with us. We change the words around and make them out own and they become our decree that we teach others.

What makes Mark Manson more successful in his writing than me? 1 word: Vibration. Its not that Mark is a better writer than me, its because people resonate with what he says and they share that with their facebook friends and their friends share it with their friends, and now EVERYONE is resonating and vibrating with his shit. I do it. We all do it. There is no purpose. Life is as random as the clouds in the sky and the varietals of sunsets you have seen.

We spend too much time obsessing about what everyone else is doing and giving less shits about our own doings. Hey here is an idea, if you don’t feel like going to the gym and being lazy for 4 weeks in a row…fucking good on you. You made a decision and didn’t follow the crowd of “inspirationals”. I don’t have a perma smile and tend to believe that “this moment will be okay”. I don’t have all the answers and frankly, am going to stop looking. I’m gonna lend an ear or a shoulder to the person who is down, maybe offer a meal — listen to their story and then move on. Its what I do and what we are meant to do

One foot in front of the other. No cures, only questions. No rights, no wrongs and for god sake, no more advice.

Until next time…

PS If you want to read Marks Article, here it is. I secretly admit he is a better writer than i am…Damn you Mark: