Dinosaur

Yes I am referring to me. I am a dinosaur at 46 years old. I have a masters degree and I cannot find a job. I mean I can, but not in a field that pays any sort of money. I currently work and make $14.00 an hour which equates to $9.80 per hour after taxes. The bummer about it is its part time. If I go full time, I might as well give up on any sort of life, friends, relationship or free time.

I also drive for Uber/Lyft part time. Between the two I barely take home $1500 a month. When you factor in Rent ($750), Car note ($330), Insurance ($220), Cell phone ($60) and a few bills that are lingering I am scraping by with about $100 to $200 a month. No savings, no 401K, no money in case of an emergency. It sucks.

I have spent countless hours on every job site from LinkedIN, glassdoor, ziprecruiter, ladders all the way to craigslist. Although I have an impressive resume, I don’t have the skill sets to compete in today's market. I have $100,000 in student debt that keeps coming due every month in the form of an $1100 payment that I can’t make. My backs up against the wall and I am seriously thinking of throwing in the towel. This isn’t living…this is “barely existing”.

Listen, I know others have it worse. I have traveled to remote parts of the world and know how the other half lives. I am grateful for my car because I will be living in it again soon. I took the job I have because I thought it would open doors, but it did not. I hustled and showed them what I am capable of but I instantly became a threat. Today’s generation does not appreciate, nor understand what we had to go through to get a degree and to maintain. They are so busy working for experience that they don’t quite get that wages aren’t matching the cost of living.

I began working when I was 12 years old. I made $2 an hour and hustled after school and over the summer. I bought my own clothes and books. Next summer I made $3.75. I thought I was moving up in the world. I hustled and bought my clothes and books and missed out on summers with my friends. I have had a hard time saving because I have always scraped by and savings would mean that I had to forgo something rather than living in the moment.

I need a recruiter, but I’m not even sure in today’s economy that I fit into any mold (i.e. Business Development, Organizational efficiency, Logistics). I have a myriad of skills and just want to find something that pays me more than 20K per year, preferrably 55k+. I want to be able to pay my bills, save a little bit and maybe go on vacation. As it stands now, I get no medical benefits, no vacation, no paid days, no holiday pay…nada, zip, nunca.

I guess at 46 I thought I would be further along than I am. I am grateful for what little I have, but maybe I should just walk away and become homeless and jobless. I lose faith daily in the system and wish I could sprout hope, but all the signs are showing me differently. Signs say unless I fall back on my computer programming knowledge or abandon my MBA and go back for something else that I will become another “burden on society” and that is not what I ever wanted. I just have no clue what to do.

What are your thoughts? Anyone else feeling the same way? I would love to hear.

Until next time…