10 Reasons Why Emoticons Are For Dummies.
Reason 1 — I sometimes don’t understand them. I’m sure in many other situations many people don’t.
Reason 2 — The rise of usage of emoticons and the entire sticker industry has resulted into the birth of a new species of human. These are the ones who cannot mostly use an expression in the form of language. They should be considered as dumb.
Reason 3 — Bad for keyboard industry as the emotions which you express can be typed in short language too.
Reason 4 — It’s better to use your own pic actually showing those emotions. You will get better responses. You may also notice the rise of the ‘selfie’ expressions. Although these species are not developed enough to express a connection between their expression and the situation they are currently in.
Reason 5 — Emoticons will eventually weaken the human brain and one will not be able to communicate in person. So the next level of communication & language that future men would use would be telepathy. Thus the ‘monkey thought translator’ is one of a true inspiration.
Reason 6 — Why are smileys bald? Because your hair doesn’t express any emotions? Now hair product companies will sue me. Or is it because it’s racist to have hair colour specific emoticons?…oh wait….we already have brown emoticons!
Reason 7 — Emoticons degrade the use of sarcasm and skepticism.
Reason 8 — People actually ignore you when they see emoticons in the notification panel.
Reason 9 — If happy emoticons are smileys why aren’t sad emoticons called frownys?
Reason 10 — mUcH LiKe oThEr fAdS oF WrItTiNg, the rise of selfies, and the recent additions of terms to the Urban Dictionary…this too shall pass!
Originally published at www.theindiancapitalist.com on March 25, 2015.