Funny, how I had no idea. Nor do any of us, ever, really.
iCal told me that yesterday was the holy-day of The Assumption of Mary throughout the orthodox Christian world.
While adjusting the dates for my European travels, 15 August kept psychically flashing at me. The sensitives out there will recognize the symptom. The date literally seems to flash energy as one views the calendar. Definitely not something to ignore, but something that has to be felt in order for understanding to arrive.
When I changed my flights to accommodate the day, everything that had felt angsty and irritable fell back into flow. There was something about that date. Then, as my calendar adjusted to national holidays in France, the ‘label’ showed up. Ah. A holyday. Why was that important to me?
Like half of the women in the world, one of my given names is Mary. I remember losing that piece of identity along the way. A hard-won loss, that. Decades of dissolution and letting go preceded the transformation. No longer the leader, the ‘tower’, the holy one… blah blah blah, one spiritual expectation after another bit the dust. Weird that the name still shows up on my driver’s license. Not complaining, mind you. The name is an honorable one. “Holy Mary, Mother of God”. “Virgin” meaning one who is whole unto herself, already complete. Love for the image remains, without the aspiration that came with the package. That bridge was crossed some time ago, any identification left in payment for the crossing.
I asked Google about “The Assumption of Mary”, being only nominally familiar with the significance of the day. The short version (learned from Wikipedia) is that this is the celebration of Mary the Mother of Jesus’ ascension into heaven. Whether this was her physical death or a symbolic, shamanic death, is debated among religious authorities. I leave the debate to them. Transformation is transformation.
What was it about yesterday’s date that kept flashing at me? Did my world turn? Did some huge, long-awaited transformation accompanied by trumpet fanfare enfold and enlarge the experiences of my life? Of course not. And yet…so it feels… which feeling state tends to be infinitely more reliable than how things might seem.
Did one life end and another begin? Yes. Or so it feels. And this has nothing to do with one particular feast on one particular day.
When Source set up this most recent set of adventures, I expected there would be signs. There have been. I expected to have amazing experiences. I did so and then some. I expected … and I hoped, even though projecting and assuming were thrown out with the planning bathwater so very long ago. Or so I thought. So the mind thinks when we let it keep up its habituated antics.
I expected I would have some sort of clue as to outcomes (a new place to live, for one). My mind does not. My awareness and, truth be told, my physical body, currently exist in the certainty that fresh outcomes, whatever those may be, are manifesting around me at love-speed. These circumstances are already in place and it is only my filters, my leftover parameters, that block that view.
The world is in a massive state of transformation. We all feel it. The recent eclipse season bore this out. Everyone I encounter is undergoing some kind of breakthrough experience, whether they are conscious of that or not. All amazing and wondrous and, frankly, scary as hell to those undergoing the break-before-the-through.
So, what if the “Assumption” was the dissolution of exactly that… any and all old assumptions of how/what life is unfolding? What if the archetype of the Infinite ascends into something more expanded as we mature and our perceptions shift and change?
What if we depend upon archetypal forms that we had no idea even existed? What if they all dissolved? Would we, as William Blake described, view the universe with cleansed doors of perception? What if?
Of course we know all of that to be true, and also wicked weird when it hits the road and happens in the physical.
I have no mentally definable answer for what happened yesterday. I did take a much needed jet-lag survival day, as a measure of the self care I am learning to embrace.
There has been a sea change. I can attest to that. One not attributable to any particular day or festival or celebration or re-intention or re-invention of any kind. I can attest to the adventure just beginning. So can we all.
And, as one might expect… the calm certainty with which I now face the unknown is not foreign to me, and was totally and thoroughly… unexpected.
Funny how I had no idea. Still don’t. Maybe that is the best outcome of all.
Blessings on your journey as you move from the break into the through!
~ Namaste ~