Walk A {new} way ~ Part 1

Rennes le Chateau and Magdalena.
This is a true account of a journey to Rennes le Chateau in 2005.

photo credit: me

Sitting around my friend’s kitchen table, we became used to one another again in that quick and often seamless way of old friends. Some of these women I had spent time with on and off over the past few years. Some I had not seen in a decade. Smiling and anticipating our journey we became a team over pasta and salad and two bottles of Chatêau Bonnêt.

A week or so earlier Denise and I had discussed a retreat she had organized taking place in Provence. Her intuition told her that I needed to be on this trip, but she was reluctant to ask me because many of the women signed up were clients or students of mine and she did not want me to be put into the role of ‘teacher’ for the trip, as it was designed for those attending to find their own unique connection with the land and the Divine. I didn’t want that either, so this dinner was to establish the lay of things and see how expectations might be managed and how things might flow.

My friend and I had meditated about the trip together in the Berkeley Rose Garden, a park surrounded by trees and wildflowers and filled with thousands of cultivated roses. At the moment when I felt quiet enough to ask for guidance, three ravens flew overhead calling loudly, off to the east, the direction of the trip. I knew that this was my sign to trust the flow and that it would lead me to where I needed to be. Ravens have always been a touchstone for allowing the flow of divine guidance to lead me, and what turns to take (literally, out hiking, or driving sometimes!).

I did go on the trip, in June of 2005, which journey began a spiral inward to my core. A journey of ‘ 7 years and then some’, this trip began the metamorphosis of all that I had believed or become.

We were 9 women, in a beautiful valley near the medieval city of Carcassone. Each day in that beautiful green bowl of light deepened my quiet and my listening. The land is such an amazing teacher! We lived as part of the village: bread delivered fresh each morning, local eggs warm from the hens, cheese from a local woman who keeps sheep and goats and has a loving personal relationship with each and every one. Many ways to live a ‘spiritual’ life in simplicity and grace.

As the days passed, I became more and more dissolved, more and more quiet. One of the only ‘morning people’ in the group, I arose just before the sun each morning, crept down to our communal kitchen for tea and wandered into the vineyard and along the local lanes with the rising of the sun. The peace was exquisite, the light awe-striking as the energies built with each passing day.

In meditation one morning, I was told, “This is important. Pay attention”. Our hostess drove as usual, and the three of us in her car remained in respectful silence for our days’ pilgrimage to a site where Mary Magdalene is said to have stayed for a time and where the stories say her energy can be accessed interdimensionally. The simple beauty of the landscape, the summer air, the poppies, the birdsong and the whispering trees inspired a profound reverence.

As we pulled into the parking lot of the Chateau itself, my awareness field began to vibrate with a humming sound. I managed my ticket and a short conversation in French with the shopkeepers and began my walk between the worlds.

The famous chapel was crowded with tourists, so I bypassed the obvious first stop and wandered through the Chateau, until I came to the tower stairs. I was drawn up the stairs as though carried by a waterfall in reverse. I remember stopping to take a few photographs from the stairway windows, “portal shots” being a favorite of mine, and finding it difficult to focus the camera; the upward-rushing energies were so intense.

I gazed from each turret window into other dimensions, finding myself, finally, on the ramparts. The late-morning sun had warmed the stone, making it all too inviting to take a seat and nestle in, basking in the energies, but the current kept me moving. At one end of the walk along the rampart edge, I was stopped in my tracks by a white butterfly zooming in front of my face at eye level. “Stop and look”. The shock was visceral, the flash of light, blinding. I felt the ‘click’ of dimensional shifting, and was moved onward, proceeding up the actual tower with its commanding view of the surrounding countryside.

As I took in the 360-degree view, my attention kept being pulled in one direction, to another hilltop a bit lower down, with a ruin on its crest. I was pulled to the ramparts, gazing down at the hill opposite as I began to walk their length. As I stepped out into the sun, I glanced down and was surprised to see that my sandals had become older and more worn, that my khaki walking pants had become the folds of blue robes and that my hair was lying down my back, under a light blue mantle, instead of pulled up as I had arranged it that morning. ??!! I looked again and there were my khaki hiking trousers, my sleeveless white blouse and my uncovered tied-up hair. My camera case thrown over one shoulder.

Not new to visions, I listened inwardly for a moment and heard “walk with me”. As I moved forward, the ‘other costume’ re-appeared. I had the experience of walking simultaneously in two bodies, as two beings, but wholly as one. As I walked toward the end of the rampart where the butterfly had previously stopped me, a lizard ran across my path, at exactly the same spot. Transformation, then dreaming. I paused again, in order not to trample the little gecko. What am I to see?

I stopped and placed my hands on the warm stone of the waist-high rampart, as it was becoming difficult to balance in my altered state. I gazed across to the lower hilltop where the ruined castle lay. I saw, in etheric images, a battle being waged. The castle was under siege. I saw and heard it all, until She said, from within me, “It’s too close now, time to leave”. I cannot explain how I knew what she meant or who ‘she’ was. The battle was coming closer. The castle would ‘fall’, the battle would come to the Chateau and it was time to remove her Presence from that place.

I was given a vision of the next age, blindingly fast, jumbled and confusing to the mind but inwardly very clear. The wars would come and she would not judge them, nor engage them, but simply leave them to learn what it was they came to learn… without her Presence. The long yearning rending of that proposed absence sent tears coursing down my cheeks. “But why not fight?” I asked ‘us’ silently. “This cannot be engaged” was the answer. “To engage it is to give it power and that is not useful. It is not the truth, the light or the way.”

I began to walk carefully down the spiral stairs, back through the garden, down the wide stone entrance way, out of the Chateau and around a footpath at its base. I could feel the inter-dimensional energy of the place both winding through me and being re-woven in a new configuration by ‘our’ spiral walk down the hill as ‘we’ followed the base of the fortress. I continued walking down and around, until I reached the base of the stone walls themselves and the path went no further, or branched off into the countryside away from the village.

I felt myself grounded deeply into the earth at this place, drawn inward and downward and thrust upward through the shaft of energy held by the tower hill. I sat undisturbed for a few minutes in a tangle of tree roots anchored into the base of the walls before retracing my steps up and around and into the parking area. As I walked, my sandals alternated with ‘her’ sandals, my clothing with ‘her’ robes, a basket of flowers in my arms appeared and dissolved, as did the camera pack over my left shoulder. I remember walking into the chapel briefly, a way of completing the spiraling energies it seemed, and thinking to sit inside as others were doing. It seemed the thing to do. I glanced up to the right wall and saw Mary Magdalene’s image there — lifeless and inert. A carving of her in blue robes, faded with time. “Not here” I heard. “ Outside”. “Not static, always in Flow”.

I wandered outside again taking a seat close to the parking area in view of the tower. I sat to regain my physical balance and to let the vision dissipate or integrate, not knowing what would occur. I thought that this way, no matter how addled I might be, someone from our group would see me and make sure I made it to the car.

I gazed into the surrounding mountains as they radiated the golden provençal light unique to this region. “What does this mean?” I asked. “I am being taught, but what?”.

“Mary did not engage Peter in debate nor in energy. She simply walked away. You need not engage the dominating forms or paths in any way at any time nor anymore. It is time to come home”. I looked up from my reverie to see the tower glowing in the bright sunlight. I took a photograph that does no justice to the inter-dimensional portal opening I saw and experienced while there. I suppose the camera lens can’t see between the worlds.

This experience left me with the knowledge that I needed to come home to the deep feminine, to find my path to the stars through the womb of divinity. Did I know what this meant? Not in the slightest! I felt it dawning within me, this blessing of unconditionally powerful light. Not a path I would have imagined would be fruitful on this world and particularly at this time. Not one I had any reference for from the decades I had spent studying and practicing. I had no idea what this meant, this mandate “Time to come home”. I asked for help and guidance and to be shown my next steps on this long-remembered, long-forgotten path.

In meditation the next morning I was shown that, in each of the other-world, other-life images of the day before, whether through initial purity, years of cultivation and training or just ‘Grace’, I had re-called the ability to hold a pure current of Divine energy. It was time to allow it to not only hold but to ‘be’ me. Whatever that meant. I was about to find out.

This is the return through the heart. Not to, but through. The mind cannot comprehend. The intellect, the reason, yields to this deeper current. There is not one path that holds this current and perhaps, in truth, they all do. No path leads anywhere. All paths are part of the journey. We create paths to give our feet fields within which to wander along the way.

After lifetimes of learning, can I release it all? Can I let go of everything I have known and been to begin again?

My new mantra became “I choose to trust. I am willing to trust. I choose to allow Divine wisdom to carry, lead and guide me in all ways including those I may have denied”… and in so choosing, I remembered… I was shown, not all at once, but in small, bite-sized morsels, the continuation of my journey.

My team and I set the experience of this journey into a web-based app so others can experience its energies. A fun ride if you’re into this kind of thing. The app is available through my website at this link. {we are learning app development, so while we truly appreciate feedback, please be kind}