If you want to get something done from me, last thing you should do is calling me

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I love helping people. I wholeheartedly, do. With absolutely no gain or expectations to me. May it be a technical, academic or any day to day chores. But one thing you should know is:

I AM A F***ING INTROVERT

Therefore I do not enjoy your little chats over the phone to give me details and neither do I find them useful. I only prefer precision and not your “hi hello how are you” chats. Because we both know you just called me to get something done from me and not to check how I am doing. Don’t ever think that I’d think bad of you if you just talk to me out of nowhere to get some help from me. In fact, I’d feel flattered that you remembered ME when you needed a help.

As an introvert who hate “little chats” I’d very much appreciate if you’d refrain from calling me once in a while to “say hi”. Don’t say “hi” for 5 freaking years and we’d still be friends, I can assure you that. If I consider you as my friend, our friendship is not at all based on how many times you said “hi” to me this week. Because I’m the type of person who stares at the phone until the ringing stops and get back to Facebook scrolling and text you after 3 minutes saying “Sorry I was busy”. Seriously, sorry not sorry.

So to make things clear and for you to not misunderstand that I don’t like helping you, I decided to explain you why I prefer a text message/ email over a phone call to explain ANY (formal/informal or paid/unpaid) task.

  1. I like precision and being to the point, something that you cannot expect in a phone a call.
  2. Email/ text message is something that I can refer to over and over again.
  3. I assume that if you call me instead of sending a message, that you are too lazy to write things up precisely/ or you are not clear enough of what you actually need, therefore why should I bother?
  4. PROOF! Proof of actually what you told me to do at the beginning for the benefit of both the parties.
  5. A thread that I can continue to ask if I need any clarifications, thus I have a proper catalogue.
  6. I’m good at writing than talking.
  7. When talking over the phone, you might miss/forget to mention a few important points, unless you have a written list. So you might end up calling me every time you remembered something new. And no longer will I enjoy helping you.
  8. I might be working on something important and by ignoring your call you might assume that I’m reluctant to help but a message is something that I can get back to you with later.
  9. Gives both of us enough time to consider facts and make a decision before answering any questions (I feel pressured over the phone).
  10. Last but not least, again, I am an introvert and I HATE ANSWERING CALLS!

Having said all this, if there is any crucial fact to be clarified which is unable to do over a message (which is very rare) I’d call you (despite my unwillingness) for the sake of the quality of the end result.

As a person who doesn’t expect anything in return for any help that I do, I think it’s fair for me to set at least one condition– “E-mails over Calls”.

P.S.: It’s obvious that I’m not the person to dial in an emergency. By the time I get back to you with “Sorry I was busy” message you could be probably dead. :D

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