God! Do I need a Glow-up?
✧Ways to embrace yourself when you are feeling sh***y!!!✧
If I am being honest, lately I’ve been feeling pretty down about myself. I’ve heard the fact that person’s 20s are pretty hard because we actually start to acknowledge that we are adults, but we still can’t totally get rid of our childish behaviors, we can’t really predict what will happen, we cannot fully plan the future and sometimes I just keep looking at the roof overthinking at a speed of 100 miles per hour, thinking how I am 21-years-old but still dependant on my parents, and watching 10 YouTube videos (at a stretch) about how to earn money online, but still failing to figure out a proper method and so….. on. I know right! 20s are pretty exhausting. And when I try to overthink and over plan every aspect like this it gets SOOOO much easier to hate my current self and fall back into the traumatic rabbit hole of “self-hate”.
But loving someone “unconditionally” means that, you will CHOOSE to love the person no matter which state he/she is in, or how he/she performs. And of all the types of love, self-love must first be UNCONDITIONAL.
It’s funny how cosmetics, plastic surgery, confidence booster, and such industries make money by making people feel insecure, that they are not enough. That, they have to buy this product, or attend this self-improvement seminar, or buy this podcast, or do this surgery to remove fat and so… on to make us feel “enough”. Even movies, tv series, and YoTube self-help gurus glorify such “glow ups” and “30-day transformations”. “Convert yourself for a better version of you, so that you can accept yourself more!” when that right there is SOOO not self-acceptance!
UGH!!! CAN WE STOP ALREADY?!
You SHOULD NOT do some “self-help” practice just because there’s a new trend going on! Nor you SHOULD do something just because a brand suggests to you that is healthy or “self-improving”! You SHOULD NOT do something, just because it will get you APPROVAL! either from society or from your OWN SELF!
If only doing these, will make us love ourselves more, then our relationship with ourselves is plain right TOXIC! Imagine if a friend of ours has failed an exam or lost a job, will we reach out to them and say, “ damn you clearly are a failure! You must hate yourself soo much! There’s no way you can succeed in life now unless you do this 30-day self-transformation!?” or if our friend had a breakup, will we ask them to go have a makeover and a new haircut?? No right? Because we often are much more lovable, kinder, and even more logical with others, than with ourselves.
The other problem is that all these solutions suggest more of an “external” transformation. WE ARE OBSESSED WITH WHAT ONLY THE EYES CAN CAPTURE! When in reality, our values are one hundred percent INNATE! I mean does anyone talk about “personality glow-ups”, or “inner value glow-ups”?? Hell No! We should allow ourselves to be more HUMAN instead of trying to match unrealistic body/beauty/financial/carrier standards.
When we often watch those “glow-up diaries”, “getting out of a rut”, “you will never procrastinate after watching this” kinds of videos, we tend to think that, after that particular glow-up, their lives are perfect, that they are extremely motivated all the time, or their weights remain the same and hence, we think we are the only ones who are DOOMED when we fail once after trying, when life itself is a constant cycle of falling to the ground-getting backup-resetting-starting from zero-reaching the highest potential-falling to the ground….
And the more time we use to beat ourselves up after a failure, the more time we lose trying something new again. And yes, after a failure we are BOUND to feel like sh*t, we are bound to feel sad, we are bound to feel unworthy and we might even feel that we will never be able to be happy again. But look behind! Look at all those failures you have risen up from! I’m pretty sure you might have felt the same darkness when you were experiencing them too. Everything is temporary in life. Every sadness, every happiness they all come in cycles. We can never expect to be happy CONSISTENTLY. And it is okay to feel sad and bad about ourselves, that is a part of being HUMAN. It is like a life cycle of a Phoenix, through the sad and traumatic fire and ashes, a new hope arises.
The next time you hit rock bottom, don’t beat yourself up or don’t try to do instant, external, fancy glow-ups, just give yourself some time to be human, to be imperfect. You are enough just the way you were yesterday, just the way you are today, and just the way you gonna be tomorrow! The increased value on the weight scale, the rejection letter from the company/university, or simply any sort of degradation you are facing now, should not define your inner values. Today you might cry but tomorrow you will rise up again slowly and make your way for the greater things that await you!
Happy Reading ♡
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