I’ve been diagnosed with cholesteatoma formatios on both my ears. What is cholesteatoma?

According to Wikipedia, Cholesteatoma is a destructive and expanding growth consisting of keratinizing squamous epithelium in the middle ear and/or mastoid process. Although cholesteatomas are not classified as either tumors or cancers, they can still cause significant problems because of their erosive and expansile properties resulting in the destruction of the bones of the middle ear (ossicles), as well as their possible spread through the base of the skull into the brain. They are also often infected and can result in chronically draining ears. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cholesteatoma

This has been bugging me for a couple of years now but the doctors that checked me in the past simply dismissed it as a buildup of ear wax that can be cured with medicines and a couple of cleaning procedures but last year, i experience a really painful earache which was once again treated with medicines and a cleanup procedure.

This happened December 2014, my last check up also happened that month and i was informed that i should come back for a follow up after the holidays. After doing the medications and cleanup process, the earache was gone and because of some unfortunate events that month plus a really busy schedule in 2015. I forgot to go back to the doctor.

Last November, after a really grueling weekend. I decided to go to a doctor and have my ears check again. Not because of pain but because of curiosity. The ENT doctor that checked my ears up was really surprise with the state of my ears. He tried cleaning and but ended up informing me that i should have a CT scan immediately so that he could properly see what is happening inside my ears. Hearing the words ‘CT Scan' rattled me up. I usually here those words at television shows or movies were in the person who was advised to have it done is in serious danger. I was at the hospital and alone that day because this is a sudden decision to have my ears checked so i didn’t ask anyone to accompany me that day. As i was being checked and waiting my turn for the CT scan. I was trying my best not to dwell on my scared thoughts and shrugged it off. Thankfully I’m in constant communication with my loved ones who gave me strength through there support even if they are not with me that day.

After a couple of days, i got back to the hospital to get the CT scan results and have it checked by the doctor but unluckily, that doctor just cut his day early and i didn’t get to be one of the patients that can checked by him. I got back to my health care provider and ask for another doctor to read the results for me. What the doctor said to me really shook me. I need to have surgery on both my ears because according to him the cholesteatoma is a organism that eats everything around it and it can eventually eat the bones and eventually my brain. I composed myself but everything inside me is in disarray. I have never been this scared in my life and i don’t know what to do. As the checkup was about to end. He informed me that he’ll refer me to a otologist who specializes in ears and in his own words when it comes to ears, this doctor is a GOD. (Not God God, but God as in the best)

I’m scheduled to go to a Christmas party in the evening and i was with my girlfriend on my checkup and on our way to our party, i started to go into panic mode because the checkup scared me to death. I didn’t noticed it but i actually started crying. I didn’t plan to cry but it seems that with all the scary surprises that day i can’t seem to control my tears and my mind was in disarray. Thankfully, my girlfriend was there to comfort me. Later that day i got to talk to my family about this and they also comforted me and gave me strength. I tried to compose myself the whole night but i just can’t. I found it hard to concentrate on the party and dozens of thoughts keep entering my mind. I actually consider this day as one of the lowest point in my life.

After a couple of days, i visited the otologist and he confirmed the worst, i needed to go to surgery repair and remodel both my ears. Both doesn’t look normal anymore. One ear’s bone structure started remodeling because of this blockade while the other one also did thus to the bone and worst will actually affect the nerves in my face if it surgery isn’t done asap.

We tried looking for second opinion but the diagnosis is the same. I have to have surgery on both my ears to fix it. Unluckily, i don’t have a choice but to have it done or else much, much worse stuffs will happen to me.

I’ll be having my surgery on Saturday at 7AM. Am i still scared? Of course i am! But am i still scared to death? Maybe? But i would like to think that i am not! I will get through this. It will be hard and painful but after this surgery i will be able to smile again as i usually to because everything will be alright. Because i have a big God who is with me every step of the way. He’s here beside me. Comforting me and he will be there at my surgery to guide the doctor and he will be beside me as i recover from it just like what he does every single day for each one if us.

I would like to thank my family, girlfriend, relatives and friends who are with me and are all praying for my healing and quick recovery. I love each and everyone of you and i thank God because you are all my greatest blessings.

To whoever is reading this right now, since you read this up until the end. I consider you as one of my loved ones. Thank you for reading my sharing. You are a blessing to me.

To everyone who is also in a crisis right now and is pretty shaken up and scared. Do not be afraid, God is with you through your ups and downs. Just keep believing and have faith. Whatever your illness is. I’m pretty sure that he will heal you and you’ll be up in no time.

This is my first blog post here. Thank you for reading my sharing.