Parenting and Nurturing

My father is a very rude nature man. He always manages a harsh tone and red eyes while talking to us. He has never praised me for anything till date, but has never missed any opportunity to scold me or irritate me.

One of the stories goes like this-

I had completed my 10th examination. One of my classmate’s father approached my father that he was willing to send his son with me to Bokaro (a little far from where I lived, there were better schools for 10+2). 10th results were not out yet but together my father and his father agreed and together they found a room for both of us to share and live in Bokaro.

We (me and my classmate) were to shift to Bokaro for studies. And which meant this was the first time I would be leaving my house and going to another town, living alone.

(Just to make u understand better-I had no frnds. I am an Introvert, unable to communicate with anyone, filled with fear and this also because of my father. I had also hardly known the classmate who was going to live with me. It was only who, along with his father, approached my father for me as a partner. As because I used to score good grades. )

So we were about to shift to a new place. In that all was good, except, the parenting. His mother was coming with us to Bokaro to see-off his son. But my father only allowed my mom to come with us so that his status remains maintained and nobody is able to say that my mother was not interested even to see me off.

Till then also, it was good but then, when we reached our room, his (my classmate) mother arranged the bed for him, unpacked the bags for him, checked if the rooms had proper shelves, cleaned them with a paper and arranged his this, talked to him nicely gave him some love, some lessons, even talked to the landlord. While my mother was busy in show off to the landlord aunty, like she had come to some market.

And after watching all this, my father asked mom also to do the same (better to say forced, with usual red and big eyes). My mom also started (unwillingly) and ended after just putting a bed sheet on my bed. (That means even after reminding by my father she was not really bothered to care for me).

They had come to see me off. God knows what lesson they gave me on that day. What they felt when leaving me alone? Even they felt anything or not? Or the only thing they wanted was that I was a source to bring prestige to them by only reading, and continuously reading like a bookworm?

After they all left my friend was like — “aw I am missing them”. And I was like — “ah better they left, now I can enjoy some freedom”

That event has put a long term effect on me.

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