How to Get IN Your Own Way

You do have more power than you think to change your life, and it’s time to stop making excuses and become the person you want to be.

There was something I noticed while watching Hulu for the ninth hour, clipping my nails, reading a health science journal and updating my apps on my iPhone… (yes all at the same time, and I omitted some other meaningle

I am not disciplined, I have never been disciplined and therefore I may never experience true happiness.

It shot to the bottom of my stomach. It was a negative thought, but a real one. My career talents, personality and history have made me automatically prone to recognize patterns in the world and in my self. Whenever a thought comes up, I quickly Google quotes about it, look up on Amazon to read a sample from someone who wrote about the topic or I watch show in depth around the topic, and the answer is always the same…

We really are control of our lives.

This thought may come very elementary for some, but for others (like me), it’s terrifying. I always felt that I could never have control of my life because I had such low willpower. I would continue to watch people just pass me by to become great powerful leaders, esteemed idols and loved celebrities. Still, my conquest on the search of the essence of humanity would continue because it bothered me that I was sitting on the key but couldn’t do anything about it.

Or so I thought.

We live in a toxic world. I don’t have to write about how many ways the world is built to set us up to fail with its distractions, unhealthy mood and body changing toxins and other subliminal messaging, but the one thing it has convinced of is that we are not enough.

We fight hard to not believe that, and some escape the handcuffs of blind thought about our true power, but at night it may haunt us (call Imposter Syndrome or whatever) if we aren’t careful can rob us of our whole life.

I’ve always called myself lazy, but others saw me as a go-getter. In college, I remember a friends mother described me as a hummingbird, and I didn’t get it until now. I can be moving so fast, but not really getting that far…because I stayed stuck in the mindset that I couldn’t change because of who I a

Had I not completed a goal a couple months ago, I would believe that I didn’t have power, but I realize it’s a choice of our old friend “delayed gratification”. Did I want to go through pain now or later? Pain is inevitable and suffering is optional, so this lets us know we don’t get to choose that pain but we can choose how and when and how long we suffer.

If the key to a good life is habit change, discipline, determination…then the goal is to work slowly and steady like the tortoise.

I am 97% not the person I want to be, and it’s going to be an interesting experiment to unlearn and try to replace old habits with more sustaining ones, but accountability, small steps and self love prove that my system should work.

The “Algorithm” should be:

  1. Identify habit culprit.
  2. Identify trigger.
  3. Set in place positive/negative reinforcement.
  4. Replace with desired new habit.
  5. Reward new habit.
  6. Track progress.
  7. Repeat.

As I continue to be the life researcher I always knew I’d become, and still aspiring to reach some of my heroes, I hope to make this process as automatic as driving. Change should be hard, but not deadly, and I plan on figuring out how to use the 3% that I actually find to be satisfactory and trail down the “unbeatable” path.