“It’s like somewhere along the way, someone forgot to teach other men how to be men,”
This may not entirely be the case, although your inclusion of statistics showing the poor outcomes of fatherless boys is well noted, the situation seems even more dire than that. It is not that someone forgot to teach them how to be men. It’s that we were teaching them that being male is wrong.
Young men have witnessed how their fathers were treated. They are acutely aware of “their failings” and their disadvantage as males. It’s been so bad for so long that they have simply given up. They see no valid path to better themselves. Men’s real earnings haven’t increased since the 70’s (U.S Census Bureau). The divorce rate has skyrocketed, with the vast majority of divorces unilaterally initiated by women and custody being awarded to women in about 80% of cases. Incidents of rape have gone down, but in response, boys and men are now being told that they need to be taught not to rape. Depictions of men in popular media have become grotesque, with casual violence of men by women being regularly depicted.
Young men are increasingly stating that is no longer possible to be a “good man”. Being a man of character is no defense against financial, social and emotional ruin. Being a good man is no help on dating sites, with women rating 80% of the men there as “below average”.
The message we are sending men is “you suck”, and they’re receiving this message before they’ve even left school and had a chance to do anything.
And, sorry ladies, this is one ill we cannot blame on the mythical black hole of blame known as The Patriarchy. This one’s on us.
No, I’m not saying to go back to some time when every man had the vote and no woman did. That time never existed, but if it did, I wouldn’t want to go back to that and the men I speak to don’t, either. They don’t want entitlement. They just want equality. And so do I.