Keeping Women in Technology — Speed Bump Ahead
Where is she? I think she is home — not working
Where did she go? A competitor? No, again she’s not working
Is she coming back? No, she will never be back
What happened? Well now that’s a more complicated answer …
You see for the past few months, our latest tech drop out — let’s call her Sue — has been struggling to find a way to enjoy her career in Tech. This week, she just decided to stop trying and stay home. Oh sure, some of us will think it’s temporary, but statistics would say nope it’s not….75%+of women who leave tech will never come back!
So what happened to Sue? Let’s look at a single week in her life and then you tell me
1-Sue read an article that said she likely makes 79% of what her peers make — she already suspected that from looking at their cars, watches, and houses. She reads the articles comments to see if there are any ideas on how to fix this only to see many comments defending why women should earn less because they take off time to raise kids — she feels a little less empowered and once again doesn’t ask her boss for that raise. The cloak of resentment settles in. She tells no one.
2-Sue walked into a meeting, again, where she was the only female — lonely, she tried to make small talk with one of her male counterparts next to her but the minute another guy walked in he interrupted her and never looked back. At the break she texts her best friend who sends her a picture of herself and friends at the park — longingly she stares at the photo the rest of the day. The cloak of loneliness surrounds her. She tells no one.
3-Sue’s male coworkers planned a dinner at a steakhouse at 7pm in NYC. She has children and a husband who works and darn it she’s just tired — but she goes and listens to her coworkers talk about sports, cars, and technology while she chokes down some version of steak, wishes she was home and hopes to get home before midnight. Later she discovers because it’s more expensive than they are allowed on expenses she has to chip in $50. The cloak of worry envelops her. She tells no one.
4-Sue tries to leave on time the next day for her son’s birthday, but the work isn’t done, she’s afraid to leave when everyone is still there — and so she gets out late, gets home late, and let’s face it her family is very disappointed in her. Like a cloak the guilt surrounds here. She tells no one.
5-Sue gets invited to yet another female only lunch event at work to talk about how women can succeed in tech. It’s ALL women and she ponders how can this help? Shouldn’t my male coworkers be here and engaged? The cloak of isolation engulfs her. She tells no one.
6-Sue picks up the phone to call home, let them know she will be late again, her cell rings, it’s another work urgent issue, she forgets to call for another hour — again the guilt hits. The cloak of remorse is heavy. She tells no one.
7-racing around the next day Sue realizes she has to mail in that tax check and as she writes it out she sees her truth — she doesn’t “have it all” not even close. After all the expense and all the angst she barely makes more than she would if she babysat a few neighbors kids. The cloak of hopelessness hangs on her shoulders. She tells no one.
And so she drops out. Talented, motivated, conflicted, lonely — she takes the path of least resistance — the drop out. With no end in sight, with no one to tell, she does what most would do in that situation — she walks away.
Years from now when she’s asked why she left and never went back she’ll answer any number of ways — but one thing will likely haunt her — why didn’t she tell anyone how she felt and ask for help? The truth is she didn’t have anyone to tell!
You see, to me that’s the Crux of the issue — the isolation. It’s why myself and a few of my tech female friends (1100 of us now) have banded together on Facebook in TECH WORLDS HALF (send me a FB request to join) to ensure that we do tell, we do talk, we do rant, and we do help each other stay in Tech. Lets talk — we are here!
