30 Years of Mortality

Come early September, the numeral on the left of my age will change for the first time in 10 years.

In 10 years. Times that by 3. Three decades. 7 and a half Olympic cycles.

From my naive teenage self, trying to prove that I was part of the “cool” crowd, to the young adult phase of meandering around and trying to find the meaning of life, hitting thirty originally scared the living daylights out of me.

What have I done? What have I accomplished? Why am I even here?

It’s a little daunting, exasperated by my “Imposter Syndrome” that constantly plays on my paranoia of being “exposed as a fraud”. There’s self-depreciation, and then there’s this, where I constantly put myself down despite my many great achievements.

Perhaps it’s the artist in me? After all, a true artist is never satisfied with work.

But as I sit down, last day of August, and reflect back on all that I’ve done, it suddenly hits me that compared to others around this age, I’ve achieved quite a lot. I may not have a house yet, or several other things that is expected when you hit 30, but I’ve had an interesting career (that blossomed in the past two years) and a relationship that has stood the test of time, despite some armchair professionals betting that it would never work.

I feel extremely comfortable with being myself – never before would my peers know my love for Nintendo, comic-book movies and all things technology. These were simply the things you wouldn’t reveal to your classmates during school, because that made you a geek, and some people have trouble understanding themselves or their life goals, even at this stage of their lives.

I am also slowly finding the courage to voice my thoughts and break free from the curse of the “passive man” of my family name, stepping up and becoming the leader I was born to be. It’s a tough road, especially when that’s the one you’ve known all your life, but to get ahead you have to constantly evolve.

Looking forward, it’s hard to contain my excitement for what’s to come. Yeah, that numeral on the left will change for the first time in 10 years, but they simply means that another level of life has been unlocked, waiting for me to discover and explore its treasure trove of knowledge and experiences.

30 years done, here’s to 30 years more (and beyond)!