3 Signs That You Need Marriage Counseling

Real story*: One guy perfectly remembers the day he knew his marriage was done and over with. He was having breakfast with his buddy. This friend was praising his wife, because “she always has my back.”

That phrase jolted him into a clear realization: His relationship with his wife was the complete opposite of the loving and supportive marriage his friend is enjoying. He filed for divorce a few months after that morning.

Meanwhile, one woman did not receive the privilege of time to think and mull over her decision because it was already made for her. The moment she knew it was over was the moment she discovered compromising photos and videos of the other woman in her husband’s computer.

Another man, meanwhile, had to learn about the end of the relationship from other people — specifically his children, who told him when he got home after a long day at work, that they were going to live overseas with their mom, and he isn’t going with them. (*Stories from Huffington Post Divorce)

They say marriage is the death of hope — but that’s Woody Allen talking.

Therapists say there is still hope for some, at least. If you see the following warning signs, investing in marriage counseling might be able to help:

You’ve become unkind. A stressful relationship with your spouse can drive negative emotions on high. You yell at your kids. You’re mean to the cat. You cast curses on nosy neighbors, cold callers and people in general. If you find yourself constantly finding mountains out of molehills, have a look if it’s because you’re suffering in an unhappy marriage.

You’re dreading your next encounter. Studies show that this is actually a thing. Those who are in conflict-ridden marriages are stuck in this never ending cycle: You don’t address your partner because you expect your spouse will get angry, which makes your spouse angry because they see your negative expectation of him or her as unfair criticism, which makes you angry because how dare he or she think that you’re unfair like that.

You’re unfaithful. Unfaithfulness is not just about having an affair. Financial infidelity is also a very common sign that you need professional help. If you find it hard to disclose and discuss information about your budget, savings and other money matters, it may affect not just your relationship but your family or household’s economic stability as well.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that counseling is the solution to your marital woes. Some marriages really do end up unhappily ever after. If counseling still didn’t help you and your partner put your marriage back together, counseling can still help you move forward and assist you in your new chapter in life.