Secrets To Looking Good: The Weird and The Bizarre In Beauty Treatments

People are doing all kinds of things to get pretty. From fish pedicures to bee stings, from bird poop facials to leech therapy, the degree of “torture” and tolerance for “ewww-worthy” experiences depend on the level of beauty one intends to achieve. And here I am putting cool cucumber slices over my eyes while lying down for some peace and relaxation.

It seems that my methods for staying “pretty” aren’t nearly as cutting edge as what most women are doing nowadays. But the bird poop facials and the fish pedis are just the tip of this iceberg.

I found more weird and bizarre beauty secrets. And here are just some of those odd treatments:

Skin Tightening with Preparation-H

If you don’t know it yet, Preparation-H is a hemorrhoid cream. It seems makeup artists swear by it. Even though it’s supposed to be “used as directed,” this temporary relief from hemorrhoids has actually worked for de-puffing eyes and firming and tightening the skin. Rose McGowan and Sandra Bullock have been known to use it.

Bling for Va-Jay-Jay

Down-there bling? Why yes, says Jennifer love Hewitt. Evidently, having Swarovski crystals on lady parts is now being offered at body treatment centers. It’s definitely a different kind of body bling, and one reserved for the bedroom.

Placenta for Baby Smooth Skin

Who would have thought that there would be “alternative” uses for what basically links the fetus to the mother (it lines the uterus and transports nutrients and oxygen from the mother to the fetus): the placenta? But then again, people have used poison, i.e., Botox, to maintain wrinkle-free faces.

Celebrities like Eva Longoria and Katie Holmes use skin creams that contain placenta; most products will use placenta from pigs or sheep, not women. Placenta reportedly works as a skin care ingredient because it has components beneficial for the skin.

More Poop for Your Face

Some skin creams do not contain placenta but they do have earthworm poop. This type of poop reportedly counteracts aging and treats skin conditions, from eczema to psoriasis.

Mucus on Your Face

Not too keen on wormy excrement? Why not try mucus secretion from snails? It’s a new kind of facial that some claim can stimulate collagen production. More collagen means less wrinkles and firmer skin.

This trend came from Japan and has since been used by Hollywood.

Meanwhile, in the UAE, they are partial to using laser technology. Laser technology delivers results never-before seen in skin revitalization, scar treatment, and pigmented lesions.

Blood Injections

And finally, this beauty treatment is also called the vampire facial. What happens is that blood is taken from you, processed to remove platelets, and then re-injected to your face. Not exactly the vampire’s way but it is said to do the trick just the same, which is to make one look youthful.

Personally, I think it’s too much trouble and too weird to even try any of the above beauty shenanigans.

But to each his own, right?

If you want to try the non-bizarre way to get and remain pretty, at whatever age, get into better habits:

· Drink water every day.

· Sleep the full eight hours, if not, at least try to take naps.

· Eat good, healthy food and steer clear of processed products.

· Drink alcohol moderately.

· Quit smoking.

· And try to get in a good laugh when you can because nothing brings a glow to your face better than happiness — oh, and according to studies, more sex will do that, too. I will take more sex to putting poop and re-injecting blood to my face any day.