On not making it

I don’t get how in life, in any profession, any art
there is such a concept of not making it
I just passed my first song submission
and I didn’t make the cut
I was disheartened. Not more than when I failed my first college class
but nonetheless bad
I really thought they were good enough
But don’t you think I already did? Make it?
I made them.
For once in this world someone made those two particular songs
I made them.
I made it
The toxic thing about art is that no matter how hard you work
no matter how much time you’ve spent on your craft
molding it, treating it gently — its scary
because in any case- by some force- it can be rejected
-and it’s scary
But I think I’ve come to realize why
-in any sense I -in particular- can’t pursue art full time
-because at the other person’s mercy for me- it will lose its magic
-and we live in a world where you cannot live off being rejected
It’s scary
-when part of your life gets rejected

but I won’t stop
because art is the heart of the human soul
it cares-it loves-it beats
and when I made this passage- it was for me art
-it was not made solely to be heard
-but to prove I’m human
-I was here- and this is my story
-and we live in an age where anywhere in the world
-a listener may be nearby
and I don’t care if a thousand or just one
-is listening
the world in any person’s eyes is ugly, beautiful, treacherous, unfair, unforgiving
- it is what it is- and not one perspective is above the other

