Kathryn — hmmm, I can agree with most of this. But when the other is fully aware of the situation and continues to make it worse, then there is a responsibility to be laid at their feet there as well. I disagree with your absolution of them in some cases.
The long term affair that my wife has had is fully aware of how much she wants him to stay away… and he continues to call or text every five days as a way to (most likely) stroke his ego and fuck with her. He bears the responsibility for being a moral-less asshole in this case.
You’re right, he went trolling for easy pussy on the internet on an Ashley Madison-esque site and found my wife who had had a mini-breakdown and was just looking to get out of our marriage. That was a year ago, and circumstances have radically altered between her and I (all of which I’ve been writing about on Medium), but his asshole-ry continues.
And yes, she owns her own cunt. Its not his and not mine. She can do what she wants with it (and has), but that negates the fact that she and I entered into an agreement of monogamy of our own free will. I didn’t buy her and her dower from her father. She should have come to me first before altering the agreement unilaterally. That is what adults should (and often don’t) do.
