Hi Charles,
Lauren Parker

Your comments kind of sparked a lot of thought for me, particularly in the context of the audio tape from Trump and with the barrage of hate you receive over the internet.

My experience is really linear — I’ve served in the military, but I think in many ways the military is just like the rest of society: there are groups of most-often ignorant, poorly-educated men who talk this way about women. There are other groups, even in the military, which are essentially deaf to this first group— they simply never hear it or see it, even when they hear it and see it.

That was me, the last bit, there. I heard it and I saw it, and I felt gross about it. Mostly I avoided them. Once, in desperation, I even tried to jump in and see if I could gain acceptance from one of these alpha groups during an alcohol-fueled period of time in my life in which I had virtually no sustaining friendships. A few short days on shore leave left me broken; my life, my family and my self-respect in tatters.

I have a daughter off to college, living in a dorm. If we as men were able to hear, all at once, the collective cognitive dissonance we’re all experiencing, I suspect we’d all vote to nuke ourselves.