Life Tool: A Framework for Personal Success and Fulfillment
This post is part of a series. You can start at the beginning or see All of the Tools.
“The vast majority of the work and the benefit come from defining what success looks like on each dimension.”
Having an Operating System Requires a Core Framework
The first step in having an operating system is to have a set of values that you’ll true back to. Without that core, the whole thing can break down and drift.
The framework below is mine. It’s the culmination of all of the previous reflection on what makes me happy.
The insight here is not the categories themselves. I’m guessing that nearly everyone would come up with a similar set of happiness drivers. The vast majority of the work and the benefit come from defining what success looks like for you on each dimension.
For example, in the Service category, I list the following as goals:
- Serving on the board of significant, nonprofit or university
- Giving rate of at least 10% of total income
- Kids believe in serving and giving
Identifying those benchmarks in a specific way helps me figure out whether I’m on track. For example: What’s my charitable giving rate now? How am I educating (or showing) my kid about the importance of service? Am I building skills and demonstrating quality board service today that would make me attractive for bigger opportunities in the future?
Getting Started: Create Your Own Framework
First, start by creating the core dimensions of the framework. Some questions you might want to ask:
- What matters most to me, and why? (Ask yourself “why” 5 times to get to the core answer!)
- What makes me happy? (“Happiness” might manifest itself as joy, contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction, relaxation, absence of stress, etc. It doesn’t have to be the same kind of happiness that comes from, say, ice cream or a freshly fried donut…or an ice cream sandwich with a donut as the bread.)
- What describes the moments when I am happiest? What I am doing? Who is around?
- What detracts from my happiness?
Once you have the core dimensions, start outlining benchmarks for each. Some questions that might help you do so:
- What does it mean to “succeed” on this dimension?
- What, if true, would signify a “good” outcome on this dimension?
- Is the benchmark, as I’ve defined it, measurable or observable? (If that is not the case, you can probably revise the benchmark to be more specific and actionable.)
Once you do that, walk away for a few hours or a day. When you come back to revise it, I’d recommend two steps:
- Cut down the benchmarks to the most important 2–4 per category. Else, it will be hard to focus and prioritize.
- Ask for feedback. Having someone ask, “why did you pick that?” or “why did you state it that way?” can help you flesh out your own thinking on it.
Changing Your Framework
To be sure, how I’ve thought of each framework dimension has evolved. For instance, my goals for Physical Health have changed since I’ve… uh, gotten old and my knees and ankles no longer support my being an athlete.
Now, the Physical Health dimension is more about sustaining a high energy level and making disciplined choices about my diet.
Mostly, though, the goals evolved when I got married and had a kid. This was partly because my perspective changed and partly because my wife and I had to align our goals for our relationship, our finances, and — more generally — how we want to live our lives.
All that’s perfectly fine and natural. For me, the key is to create sufficient time for reflection, introspection, and discussion, so that you can make changes when necessary.
I want to hear your thoughts!
This is a “living post,” in that I’d like your help to add to make it more valuable. What have you tried that is similar? Have any stories about the impact of using a tool like this? Please share!
See All of the Tools for other posts like this.
