To Settle a dispute by mutual concession OR to accept standards that are lower than is desirable.

As an Englishmen, perhaps I am more inclined to compromise, partly for fear of upsetting the balance, yes, steering away from confrontation, of course, but could it be for fear of failure? Americans are notoriously ruthless, but does the sheer tenacity without humble modesty come with a cost? I’m not going to lead the witness here, I just wasted 4 months of my life based on compromise. It was, however, me accepting standards lower than desirable due to desperation, impatience and fear. Fear of failure.

The interesting moments that led up to me turning the tables bring the magnifying glass over the issue: When aiming for goals in life, do you learn more from comprising throughout different situations as you go or from being ruthless. Obviously, a balance between the two would be ideal, but lets face it, sometimes you are a tart, sharp raspberry person or a soft overripe strawberry person.

When I made the professional decision a few months ago to work with someone, I was persuaded by their enthusiasm, their ego, their brashness and their apparent tenacity. Don’t read this wrong, I am an extremely dedicated and ambitious person. I, for some reason, was shown this kryptonite ridden contract at a weak time when I needed self assurance and agreed.

The last 16 weeks have been torture. I was deceived, in the entirety of the working relationship, I felt lost, undervalued and then angry. I then sought advice from those around me personally and professionally helping me to gain the courage to say out-loud to myself that this needed to end. The response from English v American colleagues and friends though was remarkable.

It was a unanimous opinion across both countries that I had been well and truly cat-fished, in a non-sexual but truly fucked way. All the Americans, however, had the same response; run, just get out and move on, jump ship or get a lawyer. The English contingent of the advice squad held a similar opinion laced with a different ethos. In their own way they all said near enough that I had learnt something from this, that it was a growing experience and even if it were a mistake, I would know for next time and I have been changed for the better. How could it be true, the pessimistic British contingent more faithful in the long run than the yanks. Classic case of the Hare v Tortoise?

It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.- The Alchemist

My point, I can assure you, is not to berate Americans, or pretend that the English are better at doing anything. I want you to think about mistakes you’ve made recently both professionally and personally and ask yourself if you are being stubborn. Should you compromise because it reaches an agreement where each side makes equal concessions, because that my lovely people is humane and wonderful OR did you compromise accepting standards lower than you deserve.

Walking down the side of the street this afternoon, moments after biting the bullet, I felt a gust of wind beneath my sails. There has been no great development for me other than that of the gained knowledge, and I can assure you I am better for it. Yes I made a horrible mistake, but regret it no I refuse to.

Life is too short to be passive, it’s too long to be a tenacious unforgiving animal. The balance is where the heart is. So listen.

I’ll leave with this,

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it’s there and sitting down on it. — E.E.Cummings

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