a love letter for 2018

You have suffered this year.

You suffered last year, too. And the year before, and the one before that, and so on. You just haven’t noticed because your sense of pain is much weaker than your will to survive. You are not the kind of person who keeps track of their suffering. You are the kind of person who promises that every tear you shed before falling asleep will become a smile or a deep breath or a hug the next day.

On a broad scale, the world has twisted and turned in ways you did not want to allow yourself to predict. Politically, environmentally, socially — the world takes steps forward and backward and you just try to keep your bearings; you keep trying to hold onto what you know to be right.

On a personal scale, you have been lost inside of yourself more times than you want to admit. You have been too hard on yourself. You have been too hard on the people around you, at times. At other times, you have been perhaps a little too forgiving. You have blamed yourself for things that were not your fault. And, yes, maybe you blamed others for things that were in your control.

Like this planet you live on, you are not perfect. You are struggling. Like this planet, you are so strong, and so beautiful, and so capable.

How incredible it is that you were born into the exact circumstances that led you to be this amazing person. How incredible it is that you wake up every day and live your life as if you have not seen the worst of humanity. Perhaps it is because all of things that make humanity good are inside of you, and they fill you with a light that works to balance the heavy cloud of hopelessness and despair.

You are a tiny star in the universe with a heart and a hope and a light that encompasses the big world you live in. Keep fighting, little star. You are so important.