I understand the appeal of #thatsinglelife, and I know that our generation’s issues with forming intimate relationships aren’t exactly our fault
I gave you three “claps” and followed you, so I hope you don’t take this the wrong way.
Gregory Benson
61

Thank you for taking time to read, and to even write a response. I’m glad this piece cause enough of a resonance within you to even warrant that.

I’m sure, like you’ve said, some people are just low-key terrified of being vulnerable and naked with someone else.

There is a part of me that’s very jealous of people who want a traditional family structure and kids. I’m not going to deny that. We’re the same age, after all, and yea, there is a part of me that wants to have what you have. I’m sure it’s a redefining and refining experience.

But, that being said, not everyone is ready for that chapter. I don’t think it has anything to do with being humble or vulnerable. I think it takes an inner strength and complete knowledge of self to be able to admit that you want to be single AF, that you want to live #thatsinglelife. And it stems from a lot of cliches of “having to love yourself before you can love others”, and “taking care of yourself first”.

It’s not about pride or letting someone in, sometimes, the problem you need to fix first, or acknowledge first, is yourself, and what you want out of life.

Because as much as I grew up thinking I wanted that picket fence and family and children — I was miserable in every single relationship, because I realized (very simply) at the end of the day that I didn’t know myself enough to be in a relationship with someone. I didn’t want to be the sort of person who bent over backwards, and changed herself to be with someone.

That’s what I learnt, and as I continue learning and growing, what I’m finding more and more is that… I am OK with being single, not because I’m scared of being vulnerable, but simply because I don’t want to be just yet.

I find that there is no need to be, or to want to open up, because I don’t want to get married or have kids at this time of my life. And if I don’t, then what’s the point of even dating?

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