I Don’t Feel Like Writing Today
I don’t feel like writing today.
January 2. Only the second day of my promise to write every day and I’m already not feeling it. Maybe I have come to the line between “wannabe writer” and “writer” and I simply don’t have what it takes to cross over. This thought shakes me. The knowledge that my own lack of determination and self-discipline may be my biggest obstacle in reaching my dream is sobering, but sadly not the great motivator you would expect.
I don’t want to write today, but I am. I am pushing away my distractions — my heavy eyelids, my migraine, the long list of other things that need doing — and I’m writing. Few will consider this to be a masterpiece, but to me it is one of my greatest pieces. You see, this is the piece that won. This is the piece that dragged me over that line between “wannabe writer” and “writer” with one arm while slaying the dragons sent to stop me with the other.
In life, as in writing, there will always be things that hinder our motivation to do even the things we love. The secret is to find a way to do it anyway. I gave myself ten minutes. “Write for ten minutes,” I told myself. “Then you can take a nap.” My ten minutes were up awhile ago, but I became invested in my writing during those ten minutes. And, well, here I am.
I know it’s hard. Believe me, I have a toddler, I’m in grad school, and my life involves more running around than should be necessary. But when I set aside ten minutes to allow an area of my life that is important to me to flourish, I almost always go beyond my time limit. The important thing to remember is that it is okay to not want to do something — even something you are passionate about. It doesn’t reflect on you or your passion. What you do with those feelings is what matters — do you give in, or do you try at least a little?
I didn’t want to write today, but I did anyway.