My Domestic Story
Going into detail this short article is about how i found my spiritual awearness and the impact it’s had on my life so far.
The past couple of years have been a huge development and growth for me. You find your average young adult in todays society to be sucked in to a system divided and controlled by the government, you see I feel by being opened up to such an amazing way of viewing every day life it has allowed me to come fourth into the unconscious mind. Before developing this complex, painstaking yet euphoric state of mind my life was a mess to say at the least. You hear about people complaining about their life’s on a daily basis without much foundation to back their statements up but I can tell you this is no lie, if you’re skittish and don’t like graphical reading I advise you to not read on as you may be effected by the words that are presented.
My life two years ago was horrible. To cut the story short I became involved in a domestic violence relationship and when I mention relationship I don’t mean the average couple that’s defined as a relationship. The guy who was involved in all of this was my best friend, his name was Ash! We did everything together we heard the same passions, I spent most nights at his house, there where long walks, day’s out and many other activities involved in this so called friendship. We’d known each other and been friends for around 4 years so you can already see the time and effort that was engaged and developed in this friendship. With the date being 2017 now a couple years back our friendship took a turn for the worst. We both became very involved in drugs. Every day was a struggle to survive, I became so depressed. Yet the one person I felt I could turn to was my best-friend, what i wasn’t aware of at the time was the fact I was being manipulated into talking to my ‘best-friend’ and being drawn away from my family. He wanted me to turn to him no matter what happy or sad, he liked the attention. My thoughts’ at this time was so unsettling yet the more I tried to get out of it the more I found my self being dragged in.
A few months past and Ash became a very angry and violent person, if the day didn’t go as he wanted he’d send me a text and blame me, all his anger and emotions where directed at me even occurrences I hadn’t say anything. In a way I felt sorry for him and I wanted to help because I knew how he was feeling half the time. That was my first mistake. Now one night we where just sat laying in his bed and he turns around and playfully hits me, at the time I didn’t think any of it as I thought it was just a joke, in fact I just laughed about it. This continued and slowly progressed to almost every day of the week still playfully fighting but little did i know this was about to get allot worse and allot more serious. We where playfully fighting and Ash punched me with some force, I told him to stop but he wouldn’t listen I ran to get up but he quickly got up and pushed me back down onto the bed, he swung his legs around my body to position him self on top of me and put his hands around my neck, you can probably guess what happened next. I blacked out for a good 3 minuets and awoke with a new found perspective. I was left feeling devastated, heart broken and destroyed and I cant emphasise that enough. As sad as it is this had happened for 8 months straight almost every day of the week. There where bruises left all over my collar bones, legs, neck, arms, chest and back. This lead me to wear long sleeve tops and baggy clothing. One of the most painful occurrences I believe was when Ash used to dig his heel with force into my thighs and then push his hands down onto my collar bones. Words cant describe how much pain I was in for weeks both physically and mentally. People where so oblivious and unaware of what was going on yet I still didn’t have the confidence to tell people. I had confronted people telling them that we would play-fight but nothing near to the truth.
With my head as messed up as it was I decided that this domestic violence couldn’t go on any longer so one night I had the courage to turn around and tell my parents. before hand I’d written a letter to Ash’s parents to just explain what had gone on as I didn’t have the confidence to confront the situation in person. This was where the real pain started. As I like to call it the pain to recovery. With the word finally being let out I went through months of heartache, low self esteem, no confidence, nothing. I couldn’t enjoy the activities I loved because I was scared to speak to anyone for the that matter. I felt like i was worthless. Nether the less this is where my spiritual awakening came into action.
There’s allot we don’t know about this world, where we really come from and who we really are. People say you develop a spiritual awakening when you come to a near death experience or when your soul has been so destroyed and detached from your body. For me it was both of these. You start to learn and appreciate the more important things in life in which you interpret your self and for what is important to you. I started to meditate and have counselling sessions which was a huge help to the recovery process but my counselling could only help on a certain level of consciousness in which we see what it front of us. However meditation has helped to heal for what goes beyond the sight of seeing the obvious and takes you into to a whole new level of artistic creation and movement in time. You start to learn the values of your self and become the best you can be. I finally found my life taking a turn for the better. My passion in life is to become a photographer or a journalist. I find with photography it’s a way of channelling my energy into something purposeful and rewarding in my life, I believe its what I’m here to do so to everyone who is suffering with any kind of pain there is help out there and you do have the strength within you to become the person you want to be!
Thanks for reading please stay in touch to find out more of my spiritual path to discovery.