You think you know them? Think again.

Poorna Narasimhan
Sep 5, 2018 · 5 min read

Oh yeah. I woke up and checked my phone for the time and also to check if there are any new feeds or messages on Whats app-brushed-checked phone- took bath-checked phone-had breakfast while looking at my phone and finally walked out the door while turning the music on.

Sounds pathetic? Well, if some of you list down what you do every day I guess your phone has the maximum word count. At least for me, it does.

To start with, I love my phone(definitely with the internet connectivity). I love the fact that I get messages all the time, notifications, I get to know what people are doing and more importantly its a great feeling when I know people want to talk to me or have something to say about me or respond to what I say.

I did have a normal childhood by which I mean the period till my 7th standard — if you ask me I would say I became too old in the head too soon. I remember going to my grandma’s house in the countryside and roaming around the mud roads, playing with the kids and feeling happy and contented with whatever little I had. The happiest thing about a particular day would probably be getting some roasted peanuts for just 1 rupee with a bunch of kids. And let me tell you this- it has been ages since I felt that kind of happiness.

I remember talking to one of my girl friends, sitting on top of the tank in her house, under the starry skies, spreading my arms wide and moving it to explain a thousand things. Her eyes would go wide and I would relish the excitement in her eye and happily accept her playful punch and giggle! I am serious — we actually giggled and laughed.

I cannot always paint a happy picture and yes, I went through my share of shit and went through this typical enlightened phase in my childhood where we suddenly realize something and talk all saint-like. I felt an actual pat on my shoulder and received actual reassurances from people.

On days when I fell down on the road or my bicycle (well, I had two and they were really handy and cute!) messed up, there was always this uncle who helped me up or one of my friends who would stop by and ask me if they can help. And again, these actually happened.

If you are guessing right, then yes, I am indeed talking about those times when smiles were genuine, thanks and sorries were heartfelt, tears actually wet your face and revenges really meant giving back. That’s how life should be right? The ones we see in the pictures and movies and read about. But hey, wait. All these are things of the past and we are in a completely new era!

With my lovely phone giving me company with years to come I started broadcasting every high and every low of my life. Never before has a generation diligently recorded themselves accomplishing so little. I think how much I valued myself became increasingly dependent on the likes,shares and comments my opinions received.

I started seeking affirmation, acceptance, identity and security from Whats app chats. The happiest point in an entire month would be when many people agreed to what I voiced in my feeds. For every action of mine there is an equal and opposite reaction plus a social media overreaction.

Gone were the days when I worked hard to prove myself to myself first. Now I had to work double the amount to get appreciative glances from my social circle. And then came the biggest tide of all. I started feeling secure, comfortable and was able to share stuff and shareendless tales with my Whats app buddies. I must tell you, I actually believed they understood me. I was actually able to share my 3 AM thoughts. I got the right amount of “Oooh!”s, “Aaah!”s and what not. I started trusting in them, investing in them and my every action every thought was shared in a click.

People reading my feeds knew more about me(or that is what they thought) than my immediate family. Online was old news. Online in social media was “the news”. For me, my chat rooms weren’t a subset of the internet. They were the internet! When I didn’t have proper conversations in reality with mom or dad or grandma it didn’t irk me as much as it used to. Couldn’t I always rely on my chat brother, chat sister, chat friend, chat teacher and chat bff and chat “bestie”(This word irritates me a lot. Roll-eyes!)? Now that people are falling in love over chat I shouldn’t come as a surprise if they got married and had kids and grand kids over chat as well!

It was fun, you know, Until! Until what? Until sadly, reality hit me. It takes me falling down to the rock bottom to realize the reality. Imagine plastering everything you say online onto your forehead and walking down the road. Will you still say it? If not! Don’t you dare. That girl you jealous of, that guy you wanted to punch because of their online behavior? You sure you saw through them? Sadly, we are envious of things, relationships, lifestyles that don’t even exist in reality. People aren’t really what they “post” to be.

And all those people who were always there for you? I recommend you to join me in my own personal hell space and take up some as your own. You will know that they were there for you when it was convenient for them. They were there when their life had lost its spice and they wanted some of yours. You get stuck on the road with nothing to fend for — They won’t come. But didn’t they make you feel secure? Like, they’ll catch you if you fall? Well, try falling.

Haven’t you already changed a series of chat buddies who were your everything at one point of time and poof! They vanished like a puff of smoke? Why are we depressed all the time? Why the constant sarcastic voice in your head doesn’t shut up even if you plan on choking it with a pillow? Why does everything and everyone seem fake and everything is surreal? Because, it damn isn’t real.

Not many of your chat buddies who promised “together forevers” are even going to turn and look back at you five years down the life lane. Do you remember that girl/guy you chatted with 4 years back on a bright yellow summer night? Why aren’t they still with you?

The question isn’t “What do we want to know about people?”. It is “What do people want to tell us?”. It won’t make much sense to us when we forget to smile and give a moronic stare at our screen, while simultaneously typing “lol! ROFL! Hahahaha! xD! “. Really? xD?!?

So many people treat life as a constant status update. Its as if they’re more concerned with how their life looks than how their life feels. And I recently read a post(again, yeah, I am one of you in the first place!) that said, “The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook. :)”. Double Ha!

Also, this other one — “Being famous on Instagram is the same as being rich in monopoly.” Double Ha again!

And now I am telling myself, I don’t have to post it to prove it.

And finally, I don’t know where I am going from here, but I promise If I were the real me, I would steer myself clear of this situation.

Meanwhile, my social media account is “Temporarily closed for spiritual maintenance!”. (Wink).