Try to think of this as a paper ‘weight’…

I have heard you could accomplish anything you wanted to do even if you only did it for fifteen minutes a day. It does not work for dieting. However those were some of the fullest days of my life.

I have entered that stage where you no longer concern yourself with weight gain, because you know if you should lose weight…your face is going to collapse.

Years ago, we often heard an idiom ‘just hang loose.’ I’ve discovered that, at my age, not only do things ‘hang loose’ but they also wrinkle, ache or dimple. And do you know what happens to a double chin if you lose weight after sixty? It becomes accordion-pleated and looks like a vertical blind supporting the first -born chin.

But time has moved on and my first born chin has finally made peace with the second born chin, who now happily takes on the responsibility for those little tiny chin hairs that drive us crazy.

My sis went with me when I did the ‘Weight Watchers’ thing for the second time. (My kids called it WWII — the Big One!) She went mostly because people kept saying “My, you look more like your sister every day!”

Our instructor, who looked like a bean pole, though a really pretty bean pole — suggested that we eat our food from a seven inch dinner plate as opposed to a ten inch plate, as it would look like we had so much more to eat. Shyly, I raised my hand, then asked “Are you suggesting that if we lived in a bigger house — we would look smaller — in it? I think that would be lots easier…” She groaned…

My niece informed me that she went to Weight Watchers and lost thirty-six dollars.

But wanting to be of some use to you, I feel led to share some of my weight loss “Beat the Sweets” suggestions. They sort of work.

1 — Make all cookies minuscule. Three very small cookies create the same raging guilt as three monster cookies.

2 — Carry brass keys or copper pennies in your pockets at all time. Remember to fondle them often, as brassy fingers retard hand to mouth tidbit popping.

3 — Tell yourself that you are quite sure you saw a hair fall into whatever batter your are stirring at the time.

4 — Inform family that the very last two pieces of candy in the dish were YOURS. For greater effect, tell them you licked them prior to…

5 — Carry a toothbrush and paste at all times to purge whining taste buds after you’ve had your little fling.

And a Merry Christmas to you all!

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