Mutual Respect
The foundation of genuine harmony.
“Respect your elders”, the lesson that was passed down to me from the early formative years of my life. Reflecting back at it, perhaps it was a one-sided entitlement, I think it still is. Because so and so is older than you, you must respect them. I have also been told early on, if you want respect you must earn it. These two statements are so conflicting. Are elders earning the respect that they get? Does the mere idea of questioning such a thing show utter disrespect?
Don’t get me wrong, “Respect” is a core part of my character and I am not suggesting that there is an opportunity with respecting people older than us. Of course the idea stems from the fact that with age comes experience and with experience comes wisdom. In this ideology, it is vital to remember that a person has the willingness to accept new experiences with an open mind. But there are plenty of stubborn people in this world who are glued to their generations’ old thoughts and refuse to experience and learn new things. In that case, there is no wisdom acquired which leads me to question the respect they demand.
- Age doesn’t equal Respect
When I think about how I am raising my children, I want to empower them to live better, reach further and accomplish more. It implies that I must stand to learn something new from the ones who are younger than me. It means that I must have an open mind to be able to discuss ideas, talk about issues, accept solutions and listen to the insightful and deep questions. When this flow of information happens it ensures that the younger generation is taking further strides. A mutual respect must be established so that growth continues. When we enforce the ways how we used to do things 20 years, we are not only regressing the youth, we are rushing them to maturity and in the process killing the imagination and creativity of the young ones. Respect the youthful mind as they respect their elders.
History has proven time and again that an inquisitive, rebellious, and creative mind of the youth has paved nations and brought a life filled with advancements in every nature. Intermingling of young minds and older minds nurtures an environment of acceptance, tolerance, and a better understanding and mutual respect of fellow humans.
2. Money can’t buy Respect
You may be the President of a big company, the dean of a university, a prestigious award winner or even the leader of a nation, your status and the money in your pocket doesn’t automatically entitle you to get respect. The riches, the power and the fame are all superficial and don’t deserve respect.
Respect is always earned by how we respond to, treat, and care for others; it is never asked for. But the value of earning someone’s respect is truly priceless.
True respect has nothing to do with your wealth. If you are disrespectful to other people, you will be disrespected in the long run no matter the amount of wealth you possess. People might talk beautiful things in front of you and help you get things done, not because they respect you but because you have the money to spend on them.
“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” ~ Albert Einstein
Regardless of the fact that you respect someone or not, you must always have Kindness in the forefront of all interactions you have with others.
So, how might you show other that you respect them and how might you earn the respect of others? Here are just a few things that I always keep in mind when I interact with others:
- Respect yourself
No I am not listening to the The Staple Singers — 1972 released song
“Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, If you don’t respect yourself, Ain’t nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na…. Respect yourself, respect yourself……”
You and only you are responsible to take charge of your life. Set your goals, make the commitments that you need, be willing to put in the work and sacrifices needed to accomplish the goals, and accept the consequences of the choices you make in life. Whatever you do, you NEVER play the BLAME GAME. At work, a few months ago, I came across someone I highly respected and looked up to, play the blame game. Since that day, I have struggled to respect that person. I can’t trust them anymore. What a shame!
Instead of playing the blame game or finding excuses, own your mistakes, acknowledge them, first to yourself and then to the people involved. I guarantee, people will start respecting you even more. Making mistakes is proof that you are trying. If you want self-respect it’s important to set high standards, remain true to your beliefs and values, listen to your conscience, and never stop trying until you have made yourself proud.
2. Share your knowledge
You might have attended an elite university, you might be smart, you might have worked with the system or the process for a long time. This must have given you a ton of knowledge, but what good is that if you are not willing to share your knowledge with someone. To gain someone’s respect, you must share your knowledge and at the same time be curious about the world around you, about the knowledge or skillset that the other person might have to share with you. When you showcase the hunger to learn and teach, you give and get respect.
“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”
3. Be Selfless
Cambridge dictionary defines selfless as: “The quality of caring more about what other people need and want than about what you yourself need and want.”
When we give to others because we want to and not because we expect something back from them, that shows we care for them. Kindness helps build trust, it strengthens relationships and it enhances a sense of self-worth. Earning someone’s respect can be quick or it can take a really long time. Persistence is crucial in all your efforts.
4. Empower people to succeed
I hold this one very close to my heart. In my team, I tell everyone at least once a quarter, in our goal setting section, “Let’s set some goals for your next step up the ladder. I don’t want to succeed alone, it’s lonely at the top. I want you to succeed with me, so we have company. ” When someone says they would like to be considered for a promotion or a pay raise, I do everything I can to help the deserved team members get to the next level. That is my way of showing that I respect the people who go above and beyond and they deserve to be treated with respect. We must remember our roots are give credit to everyone who helped us get where we are. We should try to bring out the best in people in an effort to make everyone feel special and that they matter.
“Follow the three R’s: Respect for self. Respect for others. Responsibility for all your actions.” ~ Dalai Lama
