Best Friend Contract

Congrats to my best friend Tyler

My best friend and buddy Tyler is getting married tomorrow. Excited and happy for him. As a tribute, this is our best friend co tract between us:

Best Friend Contract Agreement between Chase and Tyler

Definition:

Chase (previously mentioned) and Tyler (previously mentioned) are considered “Best Friends” which includes, but is not limited to: being each others “wingman”; counseling in all matters of interest for the other; giving quality advice; accompanying the other to public events; talking the other up to females when said other is not present; enjoying “Suits”, “Seinfeld”, and other great shows together; playing Ping Pong, Tennis, Frisbee Golf, and other recreational activities together; weekly meals together; being a groomsman in the others wedding; etc.

Back Clause:

Aforementioned persons are to be loyal to one another in all-formal matters as they are considered best friends. There will be no backstabbing, backbiting, or anything with “back”, except it be back massages. Sarcasm is encouraged. Honesty is required or the contract is broken.

“The Usual” Clause:

In all formal wagers, “The Usual” will be considered a 24oz. smoothie of the winner’s choice from Roxberry. In any competitive event one party may wager “The Usual” and the other can choose to accept or deny said wager. The winner may choose a different venue of smoothies if he so chooses, but the price may not succeed $6. “The Usual” is subject to change only after a unanimous vote from both afore mentioned parties.

The Girlfriend Clause:

Afore mentioned persons have the right to vocally express all feelings and/or concerns, concerning the females whom the other dates. At any moment in time one may have a girlfriend, unless the other has reasonable evidence why that wouldn’t be good for his best friend. Each has the right to express concerns about the other’s girlfriend at any moment before marriage. When Best Friends have a previous engagement and the girlfriend wants to do something, one may cancel previous engagement with the consent from the other (another option includes inviting the girlfriend to the event, with permission of course). If one cancels on a previous engagement the other may veto cancellation if he can provide reasonable evidence for why the other must still attend the event. While one has a girlfriend, he must still spend quality time with the other each week; i.e. lunch, movie, dinner, tennis, etc. One must consult with the other before proposing to his girlfriend. At any moment one may call for an intervention if the other is out of his mind crazy and doesn’t want to listen to reason and logic; in the intervention there may be only family members of the Reese’s and/or Cottle’s. As previously mentioned best friends must be groomsmen in the other’s wedding.

The Wife Clause:

Once married, the wife now takes the principle role of best friend and holds executive powers in all matters. “Wingman” retains the rights to all things pertaining to manliness i.e. sports, cars, etc. Wife gains control of all final decisions to when one may be with wingman. Decisions between wife and wingman are always given to wife. Wingman may publicly “hang out” with newly married couple for duration of 1 year without being married, and must be married in order to publicly hang out after said year is completed. Wingman reserves the rights to enjoy TV shows, play tennis and golf, workout, make money, etc. with the other on a regular basis. Wives of wingmen must become best friends.

Best Friends must be willing to give their all in order to have the relationship flourish. Any breach in this contract nullifies the agreement and the hurt party will receive 1 dinner, complement of the other, at the restaurant of his choice. This contract is subject to change pending a unanimous vote from both afore mentioned parties.

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