Yes it’s been a year, a really rough one for me actually. This time last year I thought I was putting the pieces together of my life and after over 15 years of trauma that this was going to be the year of my life. It was, but not in the way I expected. I didn’t realize that I had to learn and to make mistakes for me to realize how to be truly happy, and not just the fake smile I would put on for everyone because I felt like shit on the inside. Like I didn’t even matter, and even to the people who did like me I still felt like I was letting them down everyday.
This year it truly built up after me making lots of mistakes. I didn’t realize that I would fall off the face of the earth this year, I didn’t realize that I would be isolated in my house for over two months because I was so depressed about how I thought I wasted my life, missing school and feeling like I was fucking up my future because of myself. It was truly tough to feel those real emotions but I feel happy to be able to feel them, not everyone does.
For all of the people I have hurt and let down, I am sorry but I also want to say thank you for making me a better and stronger person and I am truly thankful for all of you in my life one way or the other. If you ever need an ally please hit me up, being a teenager or just a human is hard and sometimes even if I don’t know you well it’s always good to talk and not to let feelings sit in your mind.
Today thought I would say I’m truly happy and not just on this day being able to spend it with the people I love but being happy everyday, and being able to love myself for my strengths and still accepting my weaknesses. When you have fallen so far it teaches you that you have nothing to lose, that we have this life and we should live it the way we see fit.
Love yall (no homo lol)