Male Chastity Games vs. Lifestyle Chastity Enforcement
A Reluctant Wife’s Perspective.
I’m open minded — sort of. On a few occasions I agreed to a bit of role play. Sure I’ll lock up your penis and dress up and pretend to be whatever you want. Why not, right? Of course it was exactly what I expected. A bunch of sex talk, all completely unnatural, nothing I was interested in at all. In truth, not very sexy. In reality kind of stupid, very stupid, and pointless. Sure I even went along for a couple of days once. Even more stupid and boring after a bit. Really, a few days of all sexy-kinky talk? Every moment? Not interested. In fact. Take the damn thing off yourself, do whatever. W’re not doing this. I’m not. Turns out that plastic device he bought doesn’t even work. Pretty much just comes off. Stupid and honestly, who needs a couple of days for sexy-fake and honestly stupid role play? I made it pretty clear I was done. Don’t even bring it up again. Ha, you want chastity, bring it up again and see how not in the mood I am for a while.
Did hubby bring it up again? What do you think? Of course he did. Not constantly but enough to be annoying. Every few months. Enough to kill whatever mood I might be in. I finally gave in — again. Well I sort of gave in. This time I reluctantly agreed but with a bunch of conditions I thought would put him off it either immediately or definitely after a bit of “play”. Did it work? Absolutely but not in a way I ever imagined.
1. I pick the chastity device. You agree to it or the deal is off and I don’t want to hear about it. I thought I’d get something hideously uncomfortable. Actually something he wouldn’t even consider attempting to wear.
2. You will never bring chastity up. No begging, no sex talk, this will not enter into any conversation let alone every conversation for days on end. Only I can bring it up. If you bring it up, I’m done and I swear you’ll be sorry you did.
3. I’m not dressing up for you, you don’t get to turn this into some sort of foreplay constantly, I’m not available as some sort of porn stand-in on demand. None of it. Don’t even bring it up.
4. There’s no schedule, no “points”, no passwords, I decide if and when your penis is unlocked. No negotiations, remember I don’t want to talk about it. If I do I’ll bring it up. In fact if you bring it up, or nag me, or anything I don’t like I’m actually going to punish you. Not with any sexy toys or dress up but with something you are not going to like at all.
What Happened Next?
Well of course hubby agreed, he was super excited. In turn I set out to find a chastity device that looked like it actually worked and was super uncomfortable. I did a lot of research. Do you know how difficult it is to find any kind of real information about any of this on the internet? There’s not much. Most things are porn, sex-workers offering a sex-service, and fantasy stories. I did my best, bought a metal device that looked secure and uncomfortable. I even measured hubby (what a disaster that was). He couldn’t wait until it arrived.
Boy was I wrong. I thought this would be easy. I’d snap it closed on his penis. He wouldn’t get anything out of it except a few days or a week or maybe even a month of discomfort and we’d both be done with this. Not at all what actually happened. Yes I measured. Yes hubby was super excited I was going to be in charge of his penis literally. Finally his fantasy comes true. Reality check: Getting the that thing on his penis was damn near impossible, he kept getting erections which made it seem way way too small. Finally after a few days he did get it on. Oh boy here we go. Except the very next day, not even 48 hours later the in-escapable steel chastity device literally fell off into the toilet with no provocation.
I took that opportunity to point out how ridiculous and pointless this was but hubby didn’t want to hear it and insisted I just needed to find a smaller chastity device or a different one. Okay, back to the internet and some research. God this was stupid and boring, he gave me suggestions and links etc but many of them were custom made and hideously expensive and I thought they pretty much looked like the same thing and equally as stupid.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and after much trial and error, more error I finally found one that seemed to meet my original intent. As a bonus it looked scary. Over that few weeks I found myself oddly divided. On one hand I was on a mission to find a male chastity device that actually worked, you know one he couldn’t get out of at all. On the other hand I was hoping one of these things looked so uncomfortable that he’d back out. I didn’t know which way I really wanted this to go. Whatever, either way I’ll put an end to this. Him backing out or having the fantasy be so lousy in reality doesn’t matter. In a way I might actually have been preferring the latter, that way the reality would really put an end to it once it wasn’t 24x7 sex talk/role play/sexy-dress-up for a few days with no reward but real discomfort for much longer than would be “sexy”.
Finally A Male Chastity Device That Worked
Finally was not in one lucky guess. In reality it took another few weeks of trying different sizes of things, back and forth, wrong turns, wrong expectations, wrong, assumptions, and utter tenaciousness on my part. I was somehow invested, if only to solve this problem of finding a male chastity device that actually worked. It can’t be this hard, can it? Remember the part about finding any real information on the internet? This was part of the problem, there really wasn’t anything cohesive and most of it was absolutely wrong, or not at all helpful.
I’ll write a piece on the details of what works, what doesn’t, and a lot of real-world guidance. For now just understand that even if I would have known what worked in terms of male chastity devices, how size actually works, and the rest I discovered through this now insane process, it still would have taken a month or two to get there. “There” being a male chastity device that fits, actually enforces chastity, and cannot be removed without the key. I somehow became obsessed with making it work, actually work. No sexy-ness involved, it was more like a project that I had to figure out and complete. All the while the hubby was super excited with me in the drivers seat of his chastity enforcement.
There wasn’t any actual chastity enforcement at this point. The key to getting “there” is realizing that implementing male chastity is not just the device design, not just the sizing, but also hubby’s body — specifically his penis getting used to and settling into the chastity device. The design, size, and fit have to be juggled and adjusted over time. All in all I would say if you have the right devices, in the right size ranges it’t going to take a month or two to actually implement chastity enforcement for real. Yes you read that correctly. You are going to need a couple of different sizes of the same device or a couple of differently size parts in the very least.
OMG I Am Actually Enforcing My Husband’s Chastity
I became a bit obsessed with this chastity thing purely from a problem solving point of view. I was determined to figure it out. The original plan of putting him off it somehow took a back seat to “the project”. Going thru the frustration of wrong devices, wrong sizes, figuring out how to make it work made my husband’s fantasy and my intent go away. It didn’t even matter any more. I wasn’t even thinking about that. When the chastity device problem was solved, the project part of it over, it hit me. After a little over a week in the same device, actually having been through this over and over for a couple of months the fact that I was now actually enforcing my husband’s chastity. I didn’t know exactly what to do now.
Throughout the sizing, and actually body conditioning, and resizing, and believe it or not, allowing his body to take a break (more on this another day but it’s important during this phase) there was almost daily discussion and cooperation on “the project”. The discussion was driven by me for the most part. Sometimes it was brought up by hubby but not in that role-play, sex-talk way, so I never really noticed it as a violation of my conditions. Here I was holding the keys to a chastity device that permitted no erections, no masterbation, no intercourse that was now installed on my husband.
I knew after that week and a half (we’d gone a week before this, same device) but now I knew this time the project to make this work was over and I was actually in physical control of my husband’s sexuality 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, and yes 365 days a year if I so choose. There really is nothing he can do about it is there? It will not come off without me unlocking it. In all practicality there’s no way he’s going to cut it off without severe injury. In fact I’m not sure how they’d get if off if he went to the hospital. I’m sure it could get done but it wouldn’t be quick and certainly not pretty.
That realization hit me and it made me feel strange, good strange, I was actually excited by it but I didn’t know exactly why. I chalked it up to the satisfaction that I figured it out. That and I thought, okay, now I’m excited to show him that this fantasy is stupid and I’ll be right. We’ll get this out of the way once and for all now. Really, okay but what now. I guess I stick to the plan and pretty much do nothing. So that’s what I did, absolutely nothing regarding the chastity thing for the next week and a half or so. I never brought it up.
Three weeks went by now. This three weeks were very different than all the trial and error. Very different than the few days on/day off I and even the week long period before this when it wasn’t “real” yet. Well it probably was real that first whole week long stint. I probably could have just started making it “real” then considering it was the same device for a couple of weeks before that. Hubby didn’t bring it up either but he was dying to, I could tell. The conditions worked. The funny part was that I wanted to bring it up to but I didn’t.
The real surprise was after 3 weeks it blended into the normal every day lives in a way where it’s not something on my mind or even his all day every day. Another surprise, something I thought would never happen is that when it did cross my mind, I was excited. Guess what, I was excited about enforcing his chastity, not about proving myself right. I actually was feeling sexually excited. I wasn’t directly excited by the “fetish-y, kinky” aspects of it. Maybe that was a little part of it but I actually was feeling sexual desire when it crossed my mind here and there at the oddest times. I can’t remember that happening in years. I still did nothing but I wanted to. I don’t know what but I wanted to do something. I decided to wait another week, a month sounded good. I’d figure this out by then right?
A week goes by fast, I shouldn’t have put myself on a timetable. Once I had that month thing in my head I couldn’t help but think about it a lot. Every day, a couple of times a lot. Here I was a whole month. I made that timeline up and still didn’t know what I was going to do. I was sexually excited, even aroused. Around 8pm after dinner I finally did something. I asked hubby if he wanted to lick me. Holy shit, where did that come from? I’ve never asked that before. Sure I enjoyed a bit of oral sex here and there when hubby decided that was part of his fantasy or foreplay or whatever but now I asked him for the first time. He said absolutely, please. “Absolutely, please” in that order. I was even more excited. I said, clean up the kitchen and we’ll see if I’m in the mood after you’re done. I’m happy you’ve obeyed my terms so far and just realized it’s been a month. I can’t believe I said that.
I don’t know exactly why it happened the way it did. I was anxious and excited while he cleaned up the kitchen. There was no big plan. I was still wearing slightly above the knee skirt from work. I was in the living room and pulled off my panties waiting for him to finish cleaning up. I was sitting on a chair and it seemed like forever. Was I really doing this? I didn’t feel embarrassed but I was feeling anxious. I still couldn’t believe I just asked him to lick me strait out like that. As he came into the living room I hiked my skirt up, pushed my hips toward the edge of the chair, and spread my legs.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t say anything. Hubby was on his knees in front of me and and just started. Twice I actually told him exactly what to do. Nothing porno-movie sounding, just strait up told him exactly what I wanted. I didn’t sound like some god awful sex talking porn star. Honestly speaking I had the best orgasm that I could remember. I have no idea why, was it in my head? Was hubby doing this differently? Maybe a little after I made a few adjustments. Was it the fact that I was in charge of this? Was it how enforcing chastity made me feel? Impossible to say. It certainly wasn’t anything to do with waiting a month. I’ve gone without sex for way longer than that, I’ve gone without being in the mood for sex for longer than that.
It was pretty clear when I was done, hubby stopped but stayed kneeling between my legs as I relaxed. I don’t know how long it was but there was what felt like a long time that passed when hubby finally said something. I was glad he did as I was starting to feel a little awkward at this point. He asked if I was going to unlock him. I took no time to respond. No. It just came out, I really didn’t even think about it. I didn’t even pretend to think about it, “no” just popped out. What I said next surprised me even more. I told you not to bring it up. I got up, pulled my skirt back down, handed hubby my panties that were on the chair and told him to put them in the laundry.
It’s been more than a year since that first experience with a lot I’ve learn since then. I’ll write a few practical pieces of advise on getting through more than a few difficulties some other day. I can say that I was shocked and more than a little confused at how this experience made me feel. I can say even inside the first month of what I know realize is lifestyle male chastity enforcement that it’s nothing at all like occasional chastity play. Needless to say but I will. I was wrong. After a short time following this experience I no longer gave any thought to my original goal of agreeing to do this chastity thing.