How Dare You Cancel Woody Allen

chatnoir
chatnoir
Aug 31, 2018 · 3 min read
“Manhattan”, 1979

I don’t care if you like him. I don’t care if you like his work. Hate the man for all I care. But how dare you cancel him, and every artist before him just on the basis of some claims that haven’t even reached a court of law. How dare you.

While you’re at it, why not cancel Nabokov? Yes, why not cancel a historically important literary artist just because you’re offended by his FICTION?

Why not really, seriously, dedicatedly promote bland art, stripped of any edge, stripped of reflecting what’s happening in the real world and live your Stepford lives, boring to the point of tears, yet peaceful because in a perfect Stepford life, nothing can really happen to stir emotion, introspection, a shift of attitude towards the world and forming opinions? Oh, wait. You’re already trying to do that.

How dare you cancel Kevin Spacey?!

How dare you judge things that were happening ages ago when our consciousness was formed by different social streams?

No, this is not being apologetic about crimes and harassment, yes I know exactly which popular keywords you are reaching for right now, you crazed social justice warriors, you. It’s not justifying criminal actions. It’s not justifying powerful men that do what they do because ‘that’s what they’ve been told is done.”

People are apologizing for working with people that haven’t even been convicted? People are disappointing their fans because they haven’t apologized for working with people that haven’t even been convicted? People who haven’t even been born when some other people were mastering their art are now relevant because they mastered the perfect, backboneless PR stunt of saying ‘omg im sorry, didn’t know he was a dick, here’s some cash for charity”? Do you wish for a bland, shitty Hollywood edited with the ‘fade’ feature on Instagram just so it can look otherworldly and serene, with no scandal and no edge? Fine by me, we have European cinema. But you can’t handle a desaturated Hollywood. You’ve cut too deep into the branch you’re sitting on and it’s gonna be a bumpy ride down.

While you’re at it, get to one of your slimy, “who are we gonna ruin next” meetings and slam that motherfucking pervert Shakespeare. Can’t be promoting teenage suicide, can we! Mariticide, anyone? A protest right next to the Louvre pyramid is in order too! Can’t have all those naked teenagers be objectified, now can we? Why not ruin all the great artists in history because they are a world away from being politically correct and make room for some new ones, that literally SHIT all over the definition of art? Why not get new directors that make movies consisted of only one frame and are two hours of ocean waves, why not make art of a fire hydrant in galleries and why not promote mediocrity because that’s what all you fucks are doing. Silencing, numbing the edge, so everyone can have their five minutes. That leaves the rest of the world with multiple five-minute sequences of BOREDOM. By all means, populate the world with no-name baby-face actors and trap the Bukowski’s and Nabokov’s in a box so that you’re never offended again.

What then? What when hypothetically you have nothing left to be offended by? It’ll be a hundred years and slowly, people who are not afraid to say it as it is will emerge from their caves, tickling that part of your brain that used to have fun listening to politically incorrect jokes but is now shut down. And you’ll say, oh, it was about time that someone said something fun/meaningful/unapologetic/real/on point. Our brains we’re oppressed for too long.

You know how I know this?

You fucked up, entitled pieces of shit are only human, and humans have been banned from saying what they think and turning it into art for centuries. So you’re nothing new. You’re just pests, termites nibbling on the freedom of artistic expression.

How dare you.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade