If something is ending, something else is beginning…
Over the past few months, I’ve experienced things ending.
A publication I wrote for (that was funding my travel aspirations) unexpectedly folded. The creative agency I worked for lost the account I was working on and had to let me go. Our school board voted to close the charter school my children currently attend. I had to reluctantly sever ties with people I deeply care for.
All of these recent endings drudged up all the other personal and professional endings that I have dealt with over time.
Some, I’m still enduring as we speak.
These are the worst.
The “never-ending” endings. The “Voldemort” endings.
I dare not speak its name so the ending just lingers and haunts and threatens to kill me.
This screws with my chi.
I’ve decided to put into practice believing all endings are happy.
If something is ending, something else is beginning.
This idea is not as easy as it sounds for me to embrace.
What gets to me (and, by extension, pisses me off) is that I know full-well what is ending… I have not a flippin’ clue what’s going to happen beyond that point!
That’s what hurts. It’s not the ending.
It’s the after… The “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
Then there is the subconsciously egotistical aspect of “I really don’t want it to end” and/or the “I don’t want to be the one to end it” to consider. In my experience, once you say you’re done with something… or with someone, you can’t take it back.
Well, of course, I can take it back…
But to be honest… It’s a rare occurrence.
So… how am I putting this into practice?
When something that has ended comes to mind, I try to think of what began after it. Sometimes I can see it clear as day. Sometimes it takes a moment to figure out which door closed to open what window.
When I get it, I can make peace with it.
I practice recognizing and retaining only the blessings and lessons of the experience and letting the rest go. Remembering that everything happens for a reason.
As for the “Voldemorts” in my life… they remain a daily struggle.
An inner tug-o-war of epic proportion.
Fear can be so sexy when it wants to be.
Seducing you with all of the things you’ll be missing out on if you let go.
I remind myself of all the things I am missing out on by not letting go.
The grip loosens… and I’m just one more step closer to a happy ending.
. . . . . . . . . . .
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