How To Stop Over-Parenting: 2 Best Ideas That Work

Image credit: Photo by kevin liang on Unsplash/ over parenting

There’s nobody else in the world you love more than your child. That incredible moment when you first held your baby is inexpressible.

Your child is your responsibility. But every job in the world comes with some sought of training. A college degree or a period of necessary hand-holding before you are handed full responsibility.

But that’s not so for parents!

As a parent, you are responsible for what your child eats, how they sleep, how they do in school, what they read, what they watch, how they spend their time, how they dress, and everything.

But that does not mean you should be Over Parenting your child.

As parents, you want the best for your little one, but how do you know you are on the right path in raising a happy and emotionally stable child? Is your child comfortable with whatever decision you take for him?

The goal of this post is to answer these questions. And discuss what is over parenting and how you can successfully raise your child without over parenting.

Let’s start with a definition from the Cambridge Dictionary:

“Over Parenting is too much involvement by parents in the lives of their children, so that they try to help with or control everything that happens to the child: Overparenting can lead to anxiety and depression in young people

For example,

You tell a child how to dress correctly, how to ideally brush his teeth when he is a healthy 10-year-old, completing your child’s project for him to get the perfect score, or always talking to your child’s college professor about his grades.

Now don’t get me wrong, obviously being an involved parent is not a bad thing. If you are actively involved in your child’s life, it will increase his confidence, build a closer bond between you and him, and help him become a successful adult.

BUT you should know the line that divides the actively involved parent and the overly involved parent.

Parents always want the best for their children and want to keep them safe. It is a parent’s instinct to protect their children from any harm. But amid all concerns for keeping your children safe, you are so worried about his safety and success that you do too many things for him and prevent him from being independent.

So are you over-parenting your child? If you are nodding your head, check out a few examples below on how you can stop over parenting and raise a happy child.

How to Raise Successful Kids Without Over-Parenting

A few months back, I watched a TED talk by Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of NYT bestseller “How To Raise an Adult.” She spoke on How to raise successful kids without over parenting. Here is the video:

I am tempted to share her brilliant pieces of advice.

1. Learn To Be Less Obsessed With Grades

We live in a world where as parents, you give your children a to-do checklist. I am sure you do this with the expectation that everything in their life should be enhanced. But where is their free play? You might think if you give them one, they will not have a future.

As parents, you might treat scores, awards as the purpose of their childhood for them to seek admission in some prestigious colleges. But this is a narrow definition of success. To achieve success, children should have a mindset and should be less obsessed with grades.

When your child is back home from school instead of being obsessed with grades, please hug them and ask how their day was. Let them see the joy in your face when you see them after a long time.

“Want to Raise Confident Kids- Avoid Over Parenting”- Dr.Dayo Lanier

2. Allow Your Child to Make Blunder

Give your child the space to make mistakes. Let them make their own decisions, which will help their brains learn how to make hard choices. More importantly, it will help them to reduce the stress of being controlled by someone else.

Let them know that you have confidence in their ability to make decisions about their lives and to learn from their mistakes.

Tell them to discuss any pros and cons with you so that you know he is having a tough time. Just knowing that you believe in your child will automatically boost their confidence.

Give your child the space to know themselves, exercise their judgment, and build healthy brains, which will have lifelong benefits.

“Let Your Children Learn and Unlearn on Their Own… Let them Fall and Stand Up On their Own”…. www.parentous.com

The Ongoing Action Plan That You Need to Take

I understand by now you must be feeling guilty about your over parenting nature.Here’s a positive plan of action that you can take for the next few week

  • Relax: Be calm, take a deep breath and try connecting with the child inside you. Question yourself what you would have liked your parents to do and try to be that fun parent with your child.
  • Let your child fall: Remember physical exertion, getting minor bumps, falling off of a swing, and even periodically experiencing light fear teaches a kid a variety of lessons that just can’t be learned any other way.
  • Let your child learn how to solve a problem : By learning to overcome failure, your children will learn how to deal with frustration and regulate his emotions properly. These skills are essential during childhood as it will help him to be a happy and relaxed child. And a happy child is almost always successful.

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I’m a Smart Blogger Certified Content Marketer. I specialize in writing detailed SEO driven topics. Portfolio Link: https://writer.me/riya-chatterjee/

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Riya Chatterjee

Riya Chatterjee

I’m a Smart Blogger Certified Content Marketer. I specialize in writing detailed SEO driven topics. Portfolio Link: https://writer.me/riya-chatterjee/

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