Big Stories, New Stories, News Stories — I’ll Write My Own Damn Stories
Day 82 of 100.
Habits!
They’re what makes our lives go round. It’s the difference between squeezing out a shitty little Medium article before bed (at a much, much too late bedtime) every night despite exhaustion, and remembering three years later that you once wanted to be a stand up comedian and never wrote all the jokes that you thought you would.
Habits are what makes us attend to those goals.
In this delirious goal of self efficacy, I’ve often felt paralyzed in the sense that I need to have A,B,C,D,and E in place before I can do anything. The letters are interchangeable with obstacles from financial to experience to content to time to connections. In this world, what I’ve come to find is that most people are not idealists. They are pessimists.
It’s a survival instinct to be a pessimist. Put too much blind faith in anything, and it might kill you, right? That’s the rule of the wild kingdom, and so when dreaming up an idea, particularly one that comes from such a vulnerable part of yourself -why should we allow it to be beaten by the pessimists?! Or perhaps more common is, why should we ALLOW their opinions to sway our own decisions and how WE view our project?
Last night I listened to Sara Blakely’s podcast as she spoke about designing SPANX. For two years, the idea for a pair of underwear that removed all types of panty lines ran rampant through her mind. It weaved itself throughout her day to day life, from her job selling fax machines door to door to going home at night and laying in bed.
What struck me as interesting was that she said she didn’t talk to people about her idea. She knew herself, and she knew that if she told people, her idea, which was so fragile at the time — would have been morphed and influenced by all the people that she talked to. So she kept it pretty secret.
In the startup world, film world, regular world -everyone talks about their ideas right? They’re a dime a dozen. It’s not about the idea, it’s about the execution.
Now I realize, that so much happens when you share an idea. Other people tell you THEIR ideas. Other people want to protect you. Other people will unintentionally morph your idea simply by listening to your words.
This whole time, I’ve been thinking and drawing on the idea, Am I enough? Is my background or story enough? Am I capable of doing this?
Why do I think that I need someone else to validate this for me? In some way, I feel as if by talking about my idea enough — with enough people agreeing with me or believing in me — it will give me the strength and tenacity to make this successful.
To some extent that’s true, but really —
I should be the one to validate myself. You should be the one to validate yourself in whatever your endeavors are, not anyone else. Not a boss, not a lover, not other people. YOU.
So — I’m going to write my own story.
