Managing Your Life Means Cutting Out People, Places and Things
Day 13 of 31. A monthlong experiment to bettering myself by writing a new article everyday. Follow me as I experiment to see what type of progress I can make in 31 days to try and build my magazine, We Were Wanderers.
The whole world is full of distractions. Pets are distractions. Facebook is a distraction. Ed and Susie and Ryan and Tom are distractions. You are a distraction.
How do we navigate the distractions become as focused as those hyper success stories we always read about on sponsored FB posts making “six figures last month from my blog alone”. For me, this has always been a problem. I call myself a prairie dog because my attention is cut short by shiny objects (and dogs).
A few things I’ve been practicing are:
REMOVING OBSTACLES & CUTTING OUT TIME
Dieting is about removing temptation. I can eat an entire bag of chips by myself in one sitting, but if I don’t buy the chips, I won’t be snacking. Don’t buy the snacks.
I used to be very open with my time. My social calendar was ALWAYS packed, happy hour on Tuesday, industry party on Wednesday, Dinner on Thursday…there was always something happening, and for the longest time I felt great. I loved being a social butterfly.
Eventually, I got frustrated that I never had time to work on my projects, and when I finally did- I was so exhausted from the week that I’d rarely get anything done.
Finally, I decided to carve out Mondays and Wednesdays to work on the magazine. I set a recurring alarm, so every week — I get 2 notifications that say, “Work on We Were Wanderers and Bettering Yourself”. I won’t make plans on these nights, or at least I’ll try and do work during the day — but I found that planning time in advance helped me with consistency, gave me an excuse to skip out on plans and also, some accountability towards myself.
I work on the magazine nearly everyday now, but still — I love having this alarm especially when I was in the office everyday.
RETHINKING FRIENDSHIPS + RELATIONSHIPS
Last night at the talk, we mentioned friendships/relationships that don’t support one another. Sometimes it takes a long time for us to notice, years even, for us to realize that some friendships/relationships simply drag us down
I’ve decided to rethink friendships, and what I want out of them. Friendships shouldn’t remain simply because we are comfortable with one another. Friendships at the most basic level, are a survival mechanism. Humans are a social being for survival, we adapt and learn with one another and we support one another. That’s the way I’d like to look at it, our friendships/relationships should be uplifting.
I always told myself, that I always want to be the motivating friend. If you’re too lazy to go to the gym, I will be the one to tell you to go. If you’re scared to tell anyone your idea for a coffee shop, I want to support you. It’s a selfish reason, but I want to be treated how I treat others. I also want to be motivated.
I need someone to give me the extra oomph if I’m feeling down. I want to be friends with people who are equally, if not MORE motivated. I don’t want anyone who gives up so easily around me. That used to be me, and I hated that version of myself.
GIVING UP DRINKING
Wow, who would have thought I would actually ENJOY not drinking? I feel like a vegan, I can’t stop telling everyone I quit drinking. Know why though? I feel like I’ve uncovered a magical box in a Disney film and now I have to tell the world. My body feels amazing. My skin feels amazing. While I’m still eating and sleeping like shit (will have to change those in my next month), I still feel 1000x better than I did when I was drinking.
Is this a Pavlovian affect? I have no clue, but I will need to science the shit out of this and find out!!
Socially — I go home earlier now. I skip out on more nighttime events, and come back to work on my magazine. It allows me to be more productive! Plus, I’m saving on $$$ and I realize how loud and obnoxious one can sound when they are drunk.
GIVING UP ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T PROPEL YOU
This seems extreme, but this is the way I feel. If someone invites me somewhere, messages or calls me, or wants to have a meeting — I compare it to how much time it will take away from me working on my magazine. If it’s valuable to me, like spending time with other motivated people — definitely yes. If it’s spending time with family — of course. If it’s going out to drink again -well, guess what my answer will be.
My friend once told me, “If your answer to something isn’t “Fuck Yes”, then don’t do it”.
Just make sure that whatever you do, let the answer be, Fuck Yes!