This is just a header image. This isn’t really an observation. Keep going down a bit for them. (thanks for reading the caption though! that’s very thorough of you)

Bite Sized Observations You Didn’t Know You Needed.

Above is a standard Monday, a day where no work should ever be done, and should rather be seen as a buffer zone where you acclimatise to the high strung atmosphere of the working week ahead of you. Remember when those guys came back from the moon and had to spend all day in this little chamber here just to make sure they were okay? yeah, that chamber is basically Monday, and Richard Nixon is your Boss wondering just what the hell you’re doing (or not doing, more accurately).

I’m not going to lie to you, I drew this in a desperate attempt to capitalize on the Olympics, because if big sponsors are going to reap millions from a whole bunch of amateur athletes struggle to survive juggling the commands of being very good in a sport that pays nothing while also having to subsequently hold down a full time job, then goddamn it — I want to get in on that exploitation too. That said, if the above Olympic event existed, I would almost certainly abandon it mid-race, while screaming something about shoving a medal somewhere or other.

Eddie Izzard summed it up pretty well; the most joyous thing about supermarkets is that until you go through the checkout, you’re just moving stock around. Sadly, rather than just abandon my gloriously nonsensical choice of shopping, I instead decide to pay for it and leave the supermarket with two jars of Nutella, some Pasta I already have three packets of at home and a DVD that was super cheap, even though I’m pretty sure I don’t even own a DVD player anymore.

There’s another side of this; when you’re the recipient of this accidental call and you’re just sitting there staring at the contact inexplicably named ‘Robin With the Hair’ (who you’d only met a few hours earlier) flashing up on your phone, while you sit there staring on in horror, hoping and praying that it’ll hang up and all this awkwardness will soon be over and both of you can pretend it never happened.

Also, while I’m here Facebook: ‘1 mutual friend’ ?! I don’t know what kind of algorithm you’re built here, but in the real word 1 mutual friend doesn’t exactly scream ‘that’s probably someone I might know’.

That said Facebook, I would like to unreservedly thank you for the option of ‘unfollowing’ people without having to undergo the socially awkward act of an outright ‘unfriending’. Those were some tough, brutal years before that option came in.

I actually sent myself an email to remind myself to write a comic about this right after I got excited about an email I’d sent myself about writing a different comic. My life is basically like the film Momento, but with less tattoos and murder.

Last time I played monopoly I tried to claim that Old Kent Road would have surely gentrified by now and would actually be quite expensive, and I wasn’t going to sell it so they could come in a build their big red hotels and destroy the neighborhood character, so I staged a sit-in and refused to move my piece or roll the dice, while I complained about how 20% of the players were controlling 90% of the wealth.

Yeah, I know how to ruin a family vacation.

Anyway, that’s all I got for now. There’s actually a book with a LOT more of this kind of nonsense, complete with words and page numbers and that copyright page at the start (basically all the things in real book) that’s out in October! -which is very exciting. You can pre-order that here if you like. Or alternatively, peruse the almost year-long archive here, (and then decide to pre-order it)

…and lastly, a big thank you to Ernio Hernandez who convinced me to put more of this kind of thing up on Medium. Cheers Ernio!

oh, and obviously feel free to share this wherever you see fit. THANKS!